Quote:
Originally Posted by AOII Angel
I just saw your post about your daughter going to the last party and making a go at it. Good job.
None of us dismiss the feelings of hurt that PNMs feel in this process, but we also know that for many people the issue is that they feel "too good" for the groups they have left. If you start looking at some of the posts in this thread wondering how groups could reject this PNM or that PNM, it comes down to a value judgement that the women in the unhoused groups are somehow "less than." There are many reasons why women are released and don't make the cut. Is it fair? I don't know. Is it fair to say a PNM is any more worthy than the chapters she thinks she's too good for? They may not be the ones she had her heart set on, but honestly they may be the ones best suited for her in the end. There are many parents that honestly can't step away from the friend and commiserator role long enough to be the voice of reason for their daughters.
I am very glad you were able to play that role for your daughter. I hope it all works out for her. IU is brutal. There is no doubt about it. Please don't take my last post as an indictment of you as a parent but as a suggestion for the situation. Like I said, if these women with only unhoused groups left on their list want to be Greek, this is their only chance. It's time to make lemonade out of lemons. Having a mom who can put that into perspective is a real gift.
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The unhoused sororities are viewed as "less than", the PNMs all basically know to rank them last as getting an invite back is easier.
I am tired of hearing of this mutual selection process. It is not! PNMs rank their choices but are basically given what they get. Why should they have to make "lemonade out of lemons", they are better than this.
In my daughter's case she received invites back from #18, #20 and #21. Guess what, she did a pretty good job of ranking them as after revisiting them she felt no connection and decided to opt out of the process. Frankly, I think these houses may "take what they can get" (there are bills to be paid) which is why they end up with a somewhat "hodgepodge" of a membership.
She has friends who thought they were "top tier" and were quite upset to get invites back from houses they thought were less than that, these were houses my daughter would have loved to have been a part of and ranked accordingly. She is sad to hear them complaining of their invites to these houses and some were her top choices. One of my daughter's friends told me that she found one house to be snobby today but it's really her only choice so she'll take it if she can get it.
And for all of those who feel that they can call our posts "entitled" or "snobby" I dare you to spend one minute if not the many hours we have spent consoling our daughters and reassuring them of their self-worth.
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