still single....

[MTSUGURL]

I grew up wanting to marry and have children. My friends, both my older and younger brothers, as well as my two younger sisters got married first. 2 of them divorced and remarried, and by the time I got married I had 11 nieces and nephews. I watched my younger friends get married. I had several failed relationships and a couple of failed engagements. I still wanted to be married and to be a mother, and not because it was expected, but sometimes that does add to the pressure simply because people don't know what to do with single women over college age, and you just don't seem to "fit" anywhere.

The best thing that ever happened to me was visiting a church with a singles group (that was NOT filled with people sizing each other up as potential mates,) and signing up to go on a retreat two weeks later. That's where I met two women that completely changed my life. They were also single, also in their late twenties and we hit it off. We moved in together and enjoyed a few years of being single together into our thirties, which brought a whole new perspective and confidence that I never would have experienced otherwise. We all still dated and looked for our Mr. Right, but we enjoyed life as single women who could be honest about our struggles while rejoicing in the freedom that we had. We built traditions that we still celebrate even though we're not all single anymore. Now two of us are married (one at 30, myself at 34,) one just had a baby and I'm getting ready to have mine. There are things that I miss about being single, although I love being married. I am so thankful for this time because if nothing else it reminds me of the support that we were for each other and how we continue to support each other and make time for each other.
I still spent a lot of time with my married friends and family, but really the only way that I was able to not only cope but thrive was through sharing that season with these women. We didn't ignore our desire to marry, and we definitely made an effort to get out and meet people, but we encouraged each other to meet other goals, improve ourselves and just enjoy life. We took a lot of girls' weekends out of town too, which definitely made the married friends jealous more than once.
You'll still be jealous sometimes, you'll still be sad, you'll still want these things, but having a few people along with you for this season definitely makes it not just livable but one of the most treasured times in your life.