Quote:
Originally Posted by AOII Angel
Absolutely! If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me who would care for me when I got old because I don't want kids, I'd be a very rich woman. I hope that's not why people have kids. It doesn't work out for a lot of people.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil
Oh yes people have children for that reason and other selfish reasons. No wonder many children can't wait to get out of their parents' houses.  When people ask me who will care for me when I'm unable to care for myself, I tell them "the same person or facility that will take care of you".  Except my retirement and "elderly vacation" will be luxurious because I planned it as such. I don't need kids for that. |
Oh yes. I've been badgered my whole life about having kids because "You'd make such pretty kids" and "You'd be such a good mother". No, thanks, I've known since the age of about 10 that it wasn't in my cards. I've heard every breeder bingo you can possibly imagine and then some. Recently I remarried at age 50 to a man who already has two adult children.. and I was asked if we were going to have one of our own!! I'm not sure how this would even be possible since I have one egg left and it's petrified.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DrPhil
Message!!!!!!
Most women, in particular, are taught since childhood to aspire toward marriage and children. Most child stories geared toward girls are romance novels. There are still college students who believe they are getting their Mrs. Degree. From college to any other life accomplishment, women tend to be told "uh...congrats...you've gotten that fluff stuff out of the way...now is time to focus on the real definition of womanhood...a REAL accomplishment...marriage and children."
Tell people to fuck off and mind their business. Don't live a certain life to appease other people. If you waste your life on other people, YOU will be miserable and in need of rescue but the people who you were trying to impress will most likely be nowhere to be found.
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I totally agree. Life scripts be damned, you have to live your life for you and what makes you happy, rather than impose timelines and deadlines on yourself. Obviously, if you want children, there is only a certain amount of time unless you're open to adopting, but otherwise, try not to stress too much about what is and isn't going on. I've been single, sometimes for years at a time, but there was always another guy coming along, and I didn't particularly need a man to be happy because I had other things to keep me occupied (friends, grad school, jobs, hobbies, etc.)
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