What advice to give to others who get that "no" multiple times...

[johansla]

I started my freshman year thinking I wanted nothing to do with sorority life--eventually life served me back a taste of my own medicine and I figured out I wanted to join one like my friends had. While I was in limbo before my revelation and the next round of fall recruitment I'd joined an honors society/professional fraternity. I liked my experience with them but I found that as they tried to be more like the NPC/IFC ones, I enjoyed the experience less--it was not the same as the sorority I'm now in and I eventually left them after joining ADPi because they started acting like a GLO but without the regulations that ensure cliquey behavior and overzealous regulation of membership don't occur.
In short my advice is that the experience with another org that isn't an NPC is exactly what it is: an experience with an org that isn't an NPC sorority. Greek letters don't mean they'll be anything alike or that she'll be any more comfortable or happy there--you know this, and I think it's not hitting her yet. I would encourage her to take a good hard look her priorities, at what she wants in college, and to really think about what is going to serve her best now and in the future.
I was released from fall formal recruitment when I "rushed" and I had a week or two before ADPi colonized to take a healthy step back and re-evaluate things. I kind of developed the mantra that I'd survived a year and a month without a sorority in my life and I could keep doing that now since I'd done it before. I made a resolution that if colony recruitment failed I was done and I was going to make my bed and lie in it. She needs to have that moment, and get to that place where not having a set of letters for a sorority/fraternity still means you're going to be fine and have fun and enjoy college. I think she needs to get more involved outside the frat/sorority world and see that people can be truly happy and fulfilled without the tethers of a ritualized friendship.