advice for an oos at an SEC school

[IndianaSigKap]

As far as recruitment wardrobe, if I remember correctly the Auburn Panhellenic has a facebook page and posted a ton of photos from each day of recruitment. Have your daughter check those out.

As far as recs go, have your daughter ask her teachers. They went to college and some of them might be Greek. I wore my badge to school on Monday in honor of our Founders' Day on Saturday and I had two students ask me about it.

[SigKapSweetie]

I wouldn't stress out too much because she is not the most outgoing queen bee in the world. Shy women tend to have more trouble during recruitment just because the active sisters have SO many girls to remember and it does help to stand out for something, but she doesn't have to be the absolute center of attention at every party in order to be successful. There is a place in greek life for young women with all sorts of personalities, and most chapters don't want a new member class made up entirely of alpha girls/leaders. It takes a good mix of women to make an effective sisterhood.

Most women who go through recruitment at most schools, even the ones with competitive recruitments, can find a place in a chapter as long as they keep an open mind and seriously consider every chapter that invites them back. The women who drop out during the process often do so because they were not invited back by their favorites. As an OOS PNM, it may be a little easier for your daughter to keep an open mind because she hasn't spent her formative years hearing about which sororities are "the best" and she won't have to deal with the heartbreak of being dropped by the sorority where all of her high school friends went. That sort of thing can contribute to women deciding to drop out entirely rather than giving their remaining chapters a fair chance. I'd encourage to her go into it with the attitude that she is trying to make new friends and to be herself. Good luck to her and to you!

[iamamom]

Thanks for the thoughts. Right now she thinks she wants to try, but doesn't have any idea how competitive it is for the girls who've grown up around it.

I'm actually very neutral on sororities, I didn't do it in college and it definitely is not my personal preference. However, if she wants to do it, I will help her figure out how to put her best foot forward.

I'm an "overachiever" with everything - spreadsheets are my bread and butter - lol. You should see my college spreadsheet! And trust me, if my d wants something, I'll figure out the way to best go about it.

I don't do the last minute panic thing well, so I figure we have all these months, let's figure this thing out.

Plus, given it's my "baby" I've got to focus on something besides my empty nest next year! Sure, I could focus on my job, but how boring would that be?

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by iamamom

Thanks for the thoughts. Right now she thinks she wants to try, but doesn't have any idea how competitive it is for the girls who've grown up around it.

I'm actually very neutral on sororities, I didn't do it in college and it definitely is not my personal preference. However, if she wants to do it, I will help her figure out how to put her best foot forward.

I'm an "overachiever" with everything - spreadsheets are my bread and butter - lol. You should see my college spreadsheet! And trust me, if my d wants something, I'll figure out the way to best go about it.

I don't do the last minute panic thing well, so I figure we have all these months, let's figure this thing out.

Plus, given it's my "baby" I've got to focus on something besides my empty nest next year! Sure, I could focus on my job, but how boring would that be?

I am all for helping your kid, but I think that she needs to be driving this bus. Otherwise, she might feel compelled to make certain decisions because mommy did so much work.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by iamamom

I don't do the last minute panic thing well, so I figure we have all these months, let's figure this thing out.

Well, you won't be doing the recruitment thing either. She will, so she needs to be the one to figure this stuff out.

Speaking as a parent, I'd say step away from the spreadsheets.

[ADPiEE]

I know it's hard (I'm a parent too) but let you daughter take the lead with this. Tell her you're there to help her if she needs it and wait until she asks. Imagine how you would help her out if she were going on a job interview. Take her shopping, proof read her resume for typos, be there to listen and support, etc.

If you need recs and can't find them, register with your local city Panhellenic. They will help you find recs usually. If you're in a smaller town or suburb, contact Panhellenic in the closest city. You can suggest to her to contact a Panhellenic group but let her be the one to contact them.

A good "life lesson" she'll learn is that stereotypes are just that--stereotypes (not reality). Yes there are less than classy girls and mean girls that join sororities but there is also every other type of girl in every sorority on campus. Sororities are so big these days that no matter where she ends up, she'll be able to find friends and girls she "clicks" with.

A note about clothing--if your daughter isn't into Lilly, she shouldn't wear it. Keep the "job interview" analogy in mind again. The brand doesn't really matter--stick to classic, well fitting clothes that she feels confident in. I think all SEC schools put out a "what to wear each day" guide and you can normally find it on the school's Panhellenic website.

Good luck to your daughter and don't stress!