advice for an oos at an SEC school

[AnchorAlumna]

I know very few sororities who would say "no" to a sweet girl with a 3.8, leadership positions and good looks.
You and she need to remember that there are 1,000 other sweet, smart girls out there with the same things. Yes, literally. So the more preparation, the better, especially when it comes to sorority recruitment in the SEC. Keep talking to people...try to find some other Auburn/SEC folks for a more tailored view. All the groups at Auburn have all types of girls, from the party heartiers to the studious church-goers. She'll get a good experience in any of them.

DON'T step away from the spreadsheet for recs. It can be very helpful to keep everything straight. Keep asking around - a sorority alum does not have to be from the sorority's Auburn chapter. She can be from any chapter of that sorority. Once you find an alum, ask if she knows other sorority alumnae. Teachers, church friends, work friends - even ask men, because their wife-sister-mother-daughter-aunt-grandmother could be sorority members. Post a request on your Facebook page.

If Auburn has an alumni group in your area, you could possibly contact them for help and advice, not just on recs, but on sorority life at Auburn.

Something to remember about Auburn - Greek life is not quite the big deal it is at, say the University of Alabama. There are even honoraries and philanthropic groups that function similarly to NPC sororities.

No, it's not required for every PNM to wear Lilies and pearls! If that's not her style, that's fine. She just needs to be well put together and groomed, with tasteful, appropriate (not necessarily expensive!) outfits.

Unlike some ladies here, I think it's OK for mom to help with finding alums for recs. The student needs to not just hand it all off to mom, but it's a big job and the kids are usually pretty clueless. So a little help from mom is fine, I think.
Best of luck to your daughter!

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

DON'T step away from the spreadsheet for recs. It can be very helpful to keep everything straight.

Of course spreadsheets can be helpful. I was speaking metaphorically—Mom needs to step away from the spreadsheets and let daughter step up to them. Sure, Mom can offer advice and assistance, but this is her daughter's recruitment, not her own. If daughter wants to go through recruitment, daughter should have the responsibility for getting and tracking recs and for doing everything else to prepare.

[HQWest]

As Auburn doesn't have houses, it is not as all-day every day sorority the way Bama is. There are a lot of out of state students. Maybe not as high as the 50% of PNMS like at Bama, but pushing 35-40%. Going through recruitment is a good way to meet lots of people. Joining a sorority can be one way for an out of state student to have a group of friends from the start the first day of classes.

They do not have upper class quota yet. I don't think it has come up. Because of this, the best time for someone to try recruitment and have the most options is freshman year.

If Lilly and pearls is not your style, I wouldn't worry about that either. There were lots and lots of other cute styles this year. I wouldn't wear a pant suit, but wear a dress you love that makes you feel good. I think some girls bought a navy or orange dress they were going to use for a game day dress in navy and wore that for IWT.

[Hearttoheart]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Unlike some ladies here, I think it's OK for mom to help with finding alums for recs. The student needs to not just hand it all off to mom, but it's a big job and the kids are usually pretty clueless. So a little help from mom is fine, I think.

My youngest daughter went through Ole Miss recruitment last month. She was very successful with a near perfect rush. We were also from out of state. The Ole Miss sororities all do a great job of keeping the girls grounded and do a pretty good job of keeping them occupied and out of trouble. She has LOVED getting to know her sisters!

I was a helicopter mom the entire time! We found alummae support through the local Panhellenic Association. Some of the ladies we found locally were Ole Miss alumnae who really took an interest in my daughter and helped introduce her to actives already in the sororities. You will be surprised at where you can find these ladies. Ask teachers, church ladies, business associates.... She asked teachers and mothers of her friends, I asked my friends and business associates. It was a joint effort!

As far as wardrobe, be are from a big city where couture is popular and what she usually wears. We spent a FORTUNE on her wardrobe! Unfortunately when she got up there and saw all the other girls wearing Lilly, that was all she wanted. She ended up actually ditching one dress and borrowing a Lilly dress from one of her friends. What I'm trying to say is not to stress out over her rush wardrobe, but maybe have a backup just in case!

I don't know about Auburn, but if it is anything like Ole Miss, it's not who you are, but rather who you know that gets you into the top houses. Keep working that spreadsheet!

[iamamom]

Do you think it matters at all who the rec is from? Say the wife of a senator or wife of a celebrity. Would that have any more influence vs some of my friends who are just normal, reasonably successful, but more everyday women?

I personally have no issue having a list of sororities and just asking women who are MY friends what sororities they were in so when d starts asking, she knows who to ask and to keep it organized. I talk with them more and see them more than my d would. D can ask her teachers and coaches herself.

She is still waiting for other acceptances, so Auburn isn't a given yet. I just figured having time it couldn't hurt since this rec seems the most difficult piece of this.

[Hearttoheart]

Originally Posted by iamamom

Do you think it matters at all who the rec is from? Say the wife of a senator or wife of a celebrity. Would that have any more influence vs some of my friends who are just normal, reasonably successful, but more everyday women?

No, the girls are not likely to recognize celebrity wives! LOL What I meant, when I said that who you know is important, was that a rec letter from an Auburn alumnae will hold more water at Auburn than a rec letter from an alumnae who attended a different school. This is especially true if that Alumnae still has contacts within the house or is willing to make some phone calls and help circulate your daughters name.

Again, I'm not sure about Auburn, but at Ole Miss and Alabama there are always Alumnae hanging around the house during recruitment. The active girls are taught to always respect the opinion of the alumnae. If an alumnae is hanging around and asks them to take a hard look at a PNM, you bet they will! Alumnae with ties in the house can also help introduce your daughter to current actives! At Ole Miss, we were told to find rec writers who had attended Ole Miss. Of the three houses that my daughter preffed, we had recs from "in-house" alumnae in two of the three. (So, its helpful, but not not always necessary) My daughter did have friends in all three houses the preffed thanks to introductions made by these "in-house" alumnae.