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Originally Posted by ladybug12
Am hoping for a positive outcome for Nittanyville.
But, I have to go back to her first post, when she says that she did not see herself as a "typical sorority girl". But, she was focusing on groups that had typical sorority girls because they were top tier. Her words, not mine.
Reality check time. Frequently PNMs look to pledge a group that they would like to become, not who they are.
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I paid attention to groups that were "top tier" just because I knew they were "top tier." I by no means saw myself at those chapters and my favorite two were actually "middle lower 3rd tier."
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeychile
I firmly believe that a lot of the PNMs who are disappointed become so because they want to reinvent themselves when they go to college, not find sisters who are the same as they.
But I do hope that Nittanyview finds her home, and that she's happy!
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I agree and I'm going through some thought processes on this and I"m so confused.
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Originally Posted by AOII Angel
I'm worried about nittanyville. Are you an introvert, sweetie? You keep mentioning how your rushers don't remember you. I want to caution you not to discount the groups you have left. Formal recruitment doesn't allow all women to shine their best...on either side. It is a very artificial environment in which to make friends. People that aren't in your face bubbly and talkative don't always make the best impressions in the fast paced, high pressure world of recruitment. BUT, the truth is, those impressions don't lead to the long term friendships that people remember. Those relationships take time and need introspection and an environment not provided by recruitment. For some women, those relationships can't be fostered until they are in a laid back situation with no pressure.
Honestly, would you refuse to be friends with women in these groups if you met them in class one on one? Probably not. It's more the idea of them as a group compared to the other groups. So...stop comparing them to the other groups. Just think of them as normal everyday people. Do they have something that with time could benefit you? If the answer is yes, give them a chance and see if a little time out of the pressure of recruitment will change how these you and these women interact.
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I'm not an introvert, I just don't think I'm great at making memorable, quick conversations. It takes me a while to warm up. Also I think my personality was hard to show in such a stressful, structured environment.
I definitely agree that the process is more "fake" I guess you could say, but the relationships are real. I could see that almost everywhere I went. I went into the process understanding that after seeing so many girls in such a short amount of time, it was very hard for chapters to not make judgements on easy things such as looks and clothes.
I think you make great points.
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Originally Posted by susieque
I belong to an on-line alum chapter for my sorority. We have members from all over the country, from big houses to small chapters that meet in a room on campus somewhere. In the end it doesn't matter if your chapter was tops on campus or at the bottom or somewhere in between...what matters now, after almost 40 years, is that you share a special bond with a group of women you call sisters. Something should have "clicked" when you met one or some of them.
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I thought I felt some clicks.