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If my Debbie knew I was in here talking about her she'd give me even more attitude than she already does. That said.... here goes my two cents:
1. My Debbie was devastated to get her #2 pick. She grudgingly went to Bid Day and new member events the first day. She was not feeling it at all.
2. Two weeks later and she still wasn't really feeling it. It was the dreaded "ok" which we all know for an 18 year old ranges from good to awful.
3. A month later it was better, not great but better. She was involved in activities with her house BUT she put herself out there. She did every NM event they had and slowly started meeting more girls in her PC and outside of her PC. She slowly started feeling her way.
4. She went through initiation and while she still had some lingering doubts she decided the positives outweighed any doubts she had. She said something she heard during initiation clicked with her and it was a small turning point. She still wasn't head over heels in love but the tide was turning and she was committed to her house.
5. Over the next months her doubts started to fade and her relationships grew stronger. When asked it was still "ok" but leaning more toward the good ok then the awful ok.
6. Move ahead to work week and recruitment and she loves these girls and is very excited about the pledge class and the future. I don't know exactly how this transformation happened but it did. It wasn't overnight and it took time. As KDCat said, I think Debbie was home before she knew it.
Everybody is different in a relationship and don't be fooled into thinking this isn't a relationship. To paraphrase, "what you put into it is what you get out of it". I don't think Debbie considered dropping out but I do know she was frustrated at times. I think that's normal. Part of growing up is learning how to adjust to new situations and new relationships and this is a learning experience. Some girls will have that magical recruitment and fall in love with their house immediately. Bless those lucky girls. Please don't use that as a measuring tool and feel that your experience is bad because it doesn't match that. Every experience is going to be different.
A bunch of strangers on a forum can't tell you how to feel or what do do but we can share with you our experiences or the experiences of those close to us. What you're feeling isn't unusual or unique but it still hurts and is confusing. Give it a chance, one week, one month at a time and see where you are in the process. I wish you nothing but the best.
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