In-law venting thread

[ellebud]

I am smiling. My in laws were terrible bigoted pompous people. Among the few minor things they did...they were happy when I got cancer because that might get me out of the family. They used the k word describing my children and me. FIL is dead and mil now lives else where.

My son is now engaged to a very nice and complicated young woman. They are FAR more religious than we are or will ever be. She wants a very tradition Jewish wedding ceremony. Son wanted to protest. Nope I said....this is important to her. Let it be.

We are paying for most of the wedding. MofB wants a huge wedding. No....I pay...I get a say. I went with my son to find the ring. He purchased a beautiful but smallish stone (a little over a carat).. She loves it.

I listen to what they are saying. Some of it is cuckoo bananas. My son just wants to be told what is happening....No matched rental tuxedos (son) ...fine. Bride is fine with that. I am fine with that....

I do not want a replay of our marriage. Her parents are divorced. They didn't get the message of play nicely with others. I talk to both sides....because they won't talk to each other. Father (quite elderly) wants some guests...........who would have thought I would be mediating a semi Orthodox wedding?! Who knew?

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by ellebud

I am smiling. My in laws were terrible bigoted pompous people. Among the few minor things they did...they were happy when I got cancer because that might get me out of the family. They used the k word describing my children and me. FIL is dead and mil now lives else where.

My son is now engaged to a very nice and complicated young woman. They are FAR more religious than we are or will ever be. She wants a very tradition Jewish wedding ceremony. Son wanted to protest. Nope I said....this is important to her. Let it be.

We are paying for most of the wedding. MofB wants a huge wedding. No....I pay...I get a say. I went with my son to find the ring. He purchased a beautiful but smallish stone (a little over a carat).. She loves it.
<snip>

ellebud, I know I'm a bit late to the party here, but can I just say OH MY GOD.

First, how can anyone be HAPPY that someone else gets cancer?? Several of my relatives, including my mother, have died from cancer, and it's horrific. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Second, as for the wedding, remember the Golden Rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules. If the MOB wants a huge wedding, great - she can pay for it. You may have to concede on the points of having an Orthodox ceremony and reception with a kosher caterer, but if the MOB wants to invite her father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate, she can damn well pay for him/her.

Third, "a little over a carat" isn't "smallish". The diamond in my engagement ring is 47 points and I'm perfectly happy with it.