Just as I had this gut feeling that Hypo would end up at Barnard, I have the same gut feeling that Halostar will end up at either Oberlin or Kalamazoo. He really doesn't want to stray outside of easy visiting distance and both fit that bill. They both fit the bill of small school with an open minded and excelling student population.
As for child rearing... I don't really know. I did IQ test their dad before I married him (I was in grad school working on a master's in clinical psych at the tiime) so they had a good gene pool. I did reward the positive behaviors and punish the negative and, once they were in later elementary, didn't really challenge me on anything because they knew the limits and knew they would be enforced. My mom was their babysitter until she was too ill to do so anymore, but she always gave them educational toys and books, read books to them, watched educational shows with them, introduced them to a variety of topics (science, reading, etc) and shared HER love of everything- animals, astronomy, politics- with them. They've seen me and their dad go to grad school while working and raising them, which likely helped reinforce the importance of education. I encouraged them to follow their passions. Scouting organizations are fantastic and helped develop them. We always engaged in service activities (going through toys before Christmas to see what could be donated, park clean ups, etc.). Perhaps, more than anything- I raised them to value respect. The words "Shut up" were not allowed in my household. I have never said those words to them, they have never said them to me. Anger was sometimes expressed with yelling, but never included insults. It was geared toward behaviors, not personal characteristics. Most often, it was communicated calmly with talking points and it usually revolved around them leaving messes in the house.
I think, overall, they had parents and a grandma who really love to learn also. Whether this is genetic or environmental, I don't know. But they were curious as toddlers and we tried very hard to channel it appropriately without killing it. I don't agree with the term "Curiosity killed the cat." I think curiosity is healthy and a sign of intelligence. Before the Internet, I used to carry a note pad around with me to make a list of things I wanted to look up in the encyclopedia when I was at the library. I would just wonder things about the world and wanted answers. They are very much the same way, but have that information at their finger tips. There were always books- lots of books.
In grad school, in my Intelligence class (where I learned to administer IQ tests), we discussed a list of environmental things that correlate to higher IQs. There are a few that I remembered most and which I tried to make sure I followed were these:
1. If parents stopped what they were doing to answer their children's questions, IQs were higher
2. In households that had lots of books, IQs were higher.
3. In households where children saw parents reading for fun, IQs were higher.
I saw their strengths and encouraged them to use them. I saw their weaknesses and we have worked on them. I talked to them like adults and didn't dismiss their thoughts or ideas just because they were children.
They aren't perfect...lol.. they are far from perfect, but they have become very interesting people. Hypo was always fearless and took chances. Halo was afraid of everything, but is learning to push and challenge himself to get beyond his fears. In fact, he rode a bike for the first time in 11 years this week. He was afraid once the training wheels were off. At 17, he learned to ride a two wheeler. We celebrated that
He is liking the freedom since we have three drivers and two cars this summer. Work and internships trump everything for car priority use so he has been without wheels a lot.
Hybrid Mode
