What does it say in your by-laws?

[FSUZeta]

Perhaps at the chapter your friend received a bid from, it is uncommon(or not allowed) that a married PNM would be offered a bid, and perhaps the chapter sought special permission from the chapter's National office to offer her a bid, which was ultimately not allowed by the National officer they contacted. She might not have been able to get back with the chapter until bid day. National officers have a lot on their plates everyday, which is magnified during recruitment.

I ditto what others have said-be very upfront on your registration form and with your rec. writers (if you need them for your college) that you are married. Wear your wedding ring to the parties, be frank in your discussions at the parties, and hopefully that will prevent similar disappointment for you. Better to not be invited back to a chapter during recruitment, than to have your membership revoked because the chapter did not know that you were married, and it is against their policy to pledge a married woman.