I'm thinking about dropping.

[sm1308]

First of all, like I said before, my big and I stopped being friends because of personal issues I had with her, not because no one else liked her. I started seeing her for what she really was: someone who thought she could control what I did, who talked about others behind their backs and then acted fake to their faces, and who was in general incredibly socially uncouth. As in, she brought up her drinking escapades and her ex boyfriends in front of my parents. So that's why we're not close and why I don't really care.

I don't really care about high school anymore. I haven't been in high school for 2 years, so it's whatever. However, I was always the one who people gave shit to in high school. And I thought being in a sorority would be different. But it's not. People still give me shit for things I do but ignore equally stupid things that other people do. I feel like they don't respect me enough to stop bringing up issues that I said I didn't want to talk about. And I'm sick of spending every weekend alone. And this is when I'm living in house. Next year, I have an apartment. If I spend every weekend alone right now, NO ONE is going to ask me to hang out next year, and I'm terrified. I don't like being alone all the time. I'm someone who likes to have a group of friends around her. And right now, I feel more lonely than I ever have.

[winnie_tuck]

Please just talk to someone. I can say at least you have a little or attend chapter events but that doesn't make the pain less, especially when you feel like an outsider inside the group. There are mean things people said when I was a potential member that I never forgot. Those girls graduated or whatever and don't think of me! I keep myself depressed focusing on past failures. Life isn't pretty and if you aren't liked you can't blame the person or yourself. This isn't a speech about embracing how you're dorky or weird. That sure won't make it better or change the past. I can say I learned a few things to better myself from mistakes and to strive for being liked for me, but the crucial message is to get out the feelings! Tell the people how you feel or it will always haunt you. I felt like I did something wrong and was a loser until I finally had the courage to speak up to my tormentor. I wasn't ready for a "fuck you" or even a "sorry" from the person so I blocked them on FB. It was just about getting out how I felt. I told the person it wasn't anyone's fault I was _____ but just that I needed the person to know how it made me feel. I don't wanna be accepted because I was stupid that night and it's who I am, just wanted that person to know they hurt me and I was hurt for awhile. What I mean is not everyone will like you and you can't say that people should be accepted for their quirks, that's not real life it's a happy ending in a movie. What you should know is that saying how you feel kinda solves it. The outcome will never change but you can lift that mental burden off your shoulders.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by sm1308

I started seeing her for what she really was: someone who thought she could control what I did, who talked about others behind their backs and then acted fake to their faces,

Do you think she has sabotaged you behind your back?