Why are recs absolutely necessary at some schools, while not expected at others?

[FSUMAMA]

[QUOTE=DubaiSis;2204311]My biggest problem with the "recs required" systems is it is patently unfair to anyone who grew up outside the south, and since students are traveling all across the US (and worldwide) to go to school, this seems like a step to limit the chances or increase the stress factor for the girl who isn't from a large'ish southern city who's mom wasn't a socialite. QUOTE]

My daugther was the northern girl. She grew up in the way north, in a non-greek family, and with very little influence from friends who joined the greek community. She chose to attend a southern school with a very active greek life. She was entering recruitment as a sophomore, as she studied abroad her freshman year and was coming to campus for the first time to live. She has a very high GPA and is an attractive girl with a good resume.

We were oblivious to the process. She went through recruitment this past fall with one "known" rec submitted and it came from a close family friend and was beautifully written. We had NO idea what was truly necessary. Once she started the recruitment process, she was shocked and concerned as she learned that she needed a 'rec' from every sorority in order to be invited back, and to ultimately recieve a bid. The school is apparently known for this. In fact, it was apparent that these girls prepare for and look forward to this week for a very long time. The good news is, she was invited back to everyone of her picks, each day with a full schedule, with the exception of one (which happened to be where her letter of rec came from). We have since been told that while she did not submit letters, that the sororities may have, very well, obtained recs for her. She obtained a bid from a top tier sorority on campus.

She is so happy with her sorority and understands that she was fortunate. I guess this is the Cinderella story of an northern girl without a req., but if she did, indeed, have letters written for her that were requested by the sorority, how much do these letters truly mean?

[amIblue?]

[QUOTE=FSUMAMA;2206569]

Originally Posted by DubaiSis

My biggest problem with the "recs required" systems is it is patently unfair to anyone who grew up outside the south, and since students are traveling all across the US (and worldwide) to go to school, this seems like a step to limit the chances or increase the stress factor for the girl who isn't from a large'ish southern city who's mom wasn't a socialite. QUOTE]

My daugther was the northern girl. She grew up in the way north, in a non-greek family, and with very little influence from friends who joined the greek community. She chose to attend a southern school with a very active greek life. She was entering recruitment as a sophomore, as she studied abroad her freshman year and was coming to campus for the first time to live. She has a very high GPA and is an attractive girl with a good resume.

We were oblivious to the process. She went through recruitment this past fall with one "known" rec submitted and it came from a close family friend and was beautifully written. We had NO idea what was truly necessary. Once she started the recruitment process, she was shocked and concerned as she learned that she needed a 'rec' from every sorority in order to be invited back, and to ultimately recieve a bid. The school is apparently known for this. In fact, it was apparent that these girls prepare for and look forward to this week for a very long time. The good news is, she was invited back to everyone of her picks, each day with a full schedule, with the exception of one (which happened to be where her letter of rec came from). We have since been told that while she did not submit letters, that the sororities may have, very well, obtained recs for her. She obtained a bid from a top tier sorority on campus.

She is so happy with her sorority and understands that she was fortunate. I guess this is the Cinderella story of an northern girl without a req., but if she did, indeed, have letters written for her that were requested by the sorority, how much do these letters truly mean?

My guess is that you truly have one special snowflake if she got a "top tier" bid as a sophomore with no recs at FSU.

[thetalady]

Originally Posted by FSUMAMA

I guess this is the Cinderella story of an northern girl without a req., but if she did, indeed, have letters written for her that were requested by the sorority, how much do these letters truly mean?

Our point and the reason that we try so hard to get girls to get recs on their own is that this could have turned out completely differently for your daughter. Had the chapters NOT been able to get a rec for her, had they run out of time, had it been easier for them to find recs on OTHER girls, etc., then your daughter could have easily gone bidless. Better to keep as much of the process in your own hands than leave it to others to do the work.

[FSUMAMA]

Originally Posted by thetalady

Our point and the reason that we try so hard to get girls to get recs on their own is that this could have turned out completely differently for your daughter. Had the chapters NOT been able to get a rec for her, had they run out of time, had it been easier for them to find recs on OTHER girls, etc., then your daughter could have easily gone bidless. Better to keep as much of the process in your own hands than leave it to others to do the work.

I understand what you are saying. As I said, we were oblivious to the entire process and had no idea. She did not come there with the attitude that she didn't need them, she just didn't know, as she was from the north and living in another country her first year (which, even if she did know, would have been close to impossible to contact people for letters). We now know what is necessary and we also know that she was fortunate to get into her sorority. You'll be happy to know... she is a Theta. I have another daughter going through recruitment this next year. Believe me, she will have letters. We understand the process now. In addition, this forum has opened our eyes to a lot of the process... wish we had found it earlier. It is very useful.

[thetalady]

You are right... I am thrilled to hear that she is a Theta So glad that it worked out well for her and she is happy!