Domestic Violence

[AXOrushadvisor]

WOW. A victim of domestic violence does not allow themselves to be beaten or abused. I would file a formal complaint with the university and your National Organization. I'm shaking my head that because he abuses her SHE is being banned?! THIS is why abuse sometimes goes on for years. Somehow society thinks it is the victims fault. WOW.

[SydneyK]

There are lots of good ideas here, and I echo those who suggest you notify an advisor and follow your organization's identified Standards procedure.

Regarding the part about the woman involved...

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

WOW. A victim of domestic violence does not allow themselves to be beaten or abused....Somehow society thinks it is the victims fault. WOW.

This.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

WOW. A victim of domestic violence does not allow themselves to be beaten or abused. I would file a formal complaint with the university and your National Organization. I'm shaking my head that because he abuses her SHE is being banned?! THIS is why abuse sometimes goes on for years. Somehow society thinks it is the victims fault. WOW.

THIS.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

A victim of domestic violence does not allow themselves to be beaten or abused.

It's true they don't allow it, but a victim can prevent further abuse by removing themselves from the situation, obtaining restraining orders if necessary. I can't tell you how many victims or abusers I've represented. Lots. More often than not, the victim keeps going back to the abuser. I understand the psychological issues there, but that doesn't remove the victim from any responsibility.

As far as the banning her from the house issue goes, that's just ridiculous. Talk about a bandaid on a bullet hole. This guy doesn't know how to be in a relationship. He needs punishment and serious counseling. If your chapter or HQ or alumni won't do anything to expel him, maybe you could convince them to require him to enroll in a batterers' intervention program? We have one here in OKC. It's $25 per visit and it's a 52 week course. It's a huge undertaking, but it has been shown to reduce recidivism.

[adpiucf]

Alert the university. Let them expel him for violating the law and the university honor code.

[squirrely girl]

Originally Posted by Kevin

As far as the banning her from the house issue goes, that's just ridiculous. Talk about a bandaid on a bullet hole.

Exactly. So when he blames her for his abuse getting him banned, he can just abuse her in private and she gets the memo that others just don't really care.

Banning her essentially says, "Hey girl, watching you get abused is ruining our good times... so, uhhhh... could you go get abused someplace else? K thanx"