feeling like i made the wrong choice.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by the_greek

I just moved into my fraternity this semester, and I'm starting to feel like I made the wrong choice. I feel like I don't fit with my brothers, and sometimes I feel as if they are not really a brother to me. I got initiated last semester, and I'm really starting to wonder if I made the right choice about joining. I think I am going through some kind of depression, and its other things going on as well but I feel like the fraternity kind of adds to it a bit. I feel like I have trapped myself and if I made the wrong decision then I'm fucked.

First, I agree that if you are having depression, you should contact campus counseling services.

Second, it is absolutely normal to experience fear and to question decisions you've made, especially when you're now smack dab in the center of the situation. Your very living space consists entirely of brothers, and you probably feel like there is nowhere to get away from it. I have never lived in a "house" but did live with sisters and I will tell you, it can be hard. Try cultivating or rekindling friendships outside the fraternity - the House doesn't have to be the epicenter of every aspect of your life.

Find some people or activities that help you can some perspective - literally, taking a few steps back and surveying your life and your brotherhood with a little bit of objectivity. If it's not how you thought things would be once you lived in the house, ask yourself how you can make it be what you imagined. Reach out to brothers; I bet that there are at least a few others who have doubts and who aren't entirely sure they made the right decision. There might even be someone in the house/chapter - like a chaplain or "brotherhood" coordinator - who might be a good person to talk to if you have specific issues.

No matter what, give it some thought and time. Perhaps you'll remember what drew you there in the first place and be able to build upon your original feelings and make your experience what you had hoped it would be. Good luck!