Importance of Recs vs. friends

[Sciencewoman]

UVa has deferred recruitment in January. I think this experience/observation may be much more applicable for deferred recruitment schools, where members get a chance to check out the PNMs during the fall, than it is for schools where women go through recruitment as soon as they arrive. We were told this in two separate parent meetings at my daughter's school. The basic message was: go ahead and get recs because some chapters might require them, but the main factor seems to be getting to know sorority women during the fall.

[HQWest]

Originally Posted by Sciencewoman

UVa has deferred recruitment in January. I think this experience/observation may be much more applicable for deferred recruitment schools, where members get a chance to check out the PNMs during the fall, than it is for schools where women go through recruitment as soon as they arrive. We were told this in two separate parent meetings at my daughter's school. The basic message was: go ahead and get recs because some chapters might require them, but the main factor seems to be getting to know sorority women during the fall.

^^^
This! Deferred recruitment and all bets are off.

[exlurker]

Veering as a reminder:


Mothers, biological sisters, grandmothers (in most cases), etc. -- Please don't forget to send in an [official legacy form, or the equivalent, for your legacy.

Now back to the main lane of the thread.

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by exlurker

Veering as a reminder:

Mothers, biological sisters, grandmothers (in most cases), etc. -- Please don't forget to send in an [official legacy form, or the equivalent, for your legacy.
Now back to the main lane of the thread.

'Cause it's not like they'd know any better otherwise.

[33girl]

7 recs at another southern school might have been OK, but I get the impression from what I've read about UVA that 7 recs there will annoy the chapter and get the PNM a big giant "buh-bye." Unless the girl has friends who know her and will say "OMG, don't blame Blair for that, her mom is kind of a trainwreck and goes way overboard but she is nice."

I don't think this particular instance had anything to do with deferred rush. UNCalum said these were the daughter's friends from summer camp, not people she met the summer before.

[KillarneyRose]

Originally Posted by 33girl

7 recs at another southern school might have been OK, but I get the impression from what I've read about UVA that 7 recs there will annoy the chapter and get the PNM a big giant "buh-bye." Unless the girl has friends who know her and will say "OMG, don't blame Blair for that, her mom is kind of a trainwreck and goes way overboard but she is nice."

I don't think this particular instance had anything to do with deferred rush. UNCalum said these were the daughter's friends from summer camp, not people she met the summer before.

Yeah, I bet by the time the rush chair opened the seventh rec she was probably like, "Ugh; not HER again!!!"

I can't remember where I heard/read this, but I understand summer camp is huge in the South as far as making rush connections.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by KillarneyRose

Yeah, I bet by the time the rush chair opened the seventh rec she was probably like, "Ugh; not HER again!!!"

I went to a school where recs are increasingly the norm. One rec per sorority was plenty. By the third or fourth, you're looking at the same FORM over and over again with the same activities and honors listed. Far more helpful is a supplement to a rec: a letter of support. If there are alumnae who know you well, they can write a letter talking more in-depth about your accomplishments. If I got 4 letters that all say the same thing, my eyes would glaze other. But if each one characterized the PNM with a little more depth in one area and shared anecdotes, that would be a lot more valuable to help remember her and consider how she might be a good fit.

It's like applying to college. What if your teachers could check off a box indicating that they recommend/do not recommend you for admission and list your honors and activities. Do you really need that box checked off by EVERY teacher? What if just one checked that box and the rest wrote letters where they talked about things like your exemplary attendance and performance in the school play, or how you inspired the yearbook staff to meet a deadline, or how you took care of your family and maintained a 4.0 after the death of a loved one, etc.

At some point sending in the same form with the same information runs the risk of diminishing returns, but who knows? Every sorority weighs recs differently. I merely suggest that quality trumps quantity.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by exlurker

Veering as a reminder:


Mothers, biological sisters, grandmothers (in most cases), etc. -- Please don't forget to send in an [official legacy form, or the equivalent, for your legacy.

Now back to the main lane of the thread.

Also- PLEASE have the girl going through recruitment list on the sign up form that she is a legacy. (and what groups she is a legacy for). I know some people say not to do this as it might make other groups release the PNM, but based on the computer system I worked with, the report only shows OUR groups legacies, not other groups.

[adpiucf]

Originally Posted by ForeverRoses

Also- PLEASE have the girl going through recruitment list on the sign up form that she is a legacy. (and what groups she is a legacy for). I know some people say not to do this as it might make other groups release the PNM, but based on the computer system I worked with, the report only shows OUR groups legacies, not other groups.

But at another school, the chapters may simply get photocopies of the PNM's application where someone has hand-blacked out the legacy status... which is great except for the fact that human error may cause the wrong blacked-out copy to go to the wrong chapter. I understand times have changed since I was in college, and more stuff is computerized, but I still believe that if a legacy wants to inform her legacy chapter, she should do it through sorority channels with their legacy form. It minimizes the risk and your chapter still receives the legacy information.

[ForeverRoses]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

But at another school, the chapters may simply get photocopies of the PNM's application where someone has hand-blacked out the legacy status... which is great except for the fact that human error may cause the wrong blacked-out copy to go to the wrong chapter. I understand times have changed since I was in college, and more stuff is computerized, but I still believe that if a legacy wants to inform her legacy chapter, she should do it through sorority channels with their legacy form. It minimizes the risk and your chapter still receives the legacy information.

Yes- She needs to do BOTH. As with a wrong blacked out form going to the wrong chapter, sometimes Recs come in late (we had several recs come in the day before preference), get misplaced, etc.(we are all human) so a legacy might be missed by the chapter. And if a girl is inadvertently dropped because her legacy status was not known, the mistake cannot be fixed if panhellenic wasn't informed via the application that she is a legacy.

[pinapple]

I agree that the OPs question can be hard to answer without getting too far into membership selection, but I believe for schools in which recs are required, that being standard, just keeps the PNM on a level playing field, but lack of rec can be reason to release. So you can have all the friends you need to for a bid, but if you get released because you didn't follow directions for lack of better wording, your friends won't do you any good.