Importance of Recs vs. friends
 

I've been reading a lot about the importance of Recs, especially in the SEC schools. I had a situation a few years ago that makes me think they aren't as crucial in some schools in different parts of the country. One of my friends from college asked me to write a Rec for her daughter who was going through rush at UVa. I happily wrote one, and know that at least 6 other friends from our sorority wrote one for her too. She loved our house, but was cut after second round. Several of her summer camp friends were in a different sorority and she wound up pledging there. To her knowledge, she didn't have even one Rec to that house (somehow I think someone in the sorority scrambled and got her one). She just had several active members standing up at the bid session and speaking up on her behalf. She only knew a few girls at her Mom's sorority and didn't know them well. It makes me wonder about the regional influence that Recs might have. I know UVa has a strong Greek presence and they have something like 18 or 19 sororities. In this situation the current members influence outweighed the letters written by alumni.

We can't go too far into membership selection, but . . .
 

Recs will get a pnm's foot in the door. Most of the time, that means an invitation to second round. After that, it is up to the pnm to impress the active members who will be doing the voting. At some very competitive systems, without a rec a pnm will not get to the point of being able to have friends stand up for her or to impress the actives. Many times pnms don't really know how many recs have been written and to which houses. In the case of your friend's daughter, yes, if it was a sorority which requires a rec they may have scrambled to get one. The moral of the story is - have a rec to every house, but understand that alone won't get you a bid. For alumnae, it means WRITE THOSE RECS so your group doesn't miss out on a terrific new member.

UVa has deferred recruitment in January. I think this experience/observation may be much more applicable for deferred recruitment schools, where members get a chance to check out the PNMs during the fall, than it is for schools where women go through recruitment as soon as they arrive. We were told this in two separate parent meetings at my daughter's school. The basic message was: go ahead and get recs because some chapters might require them, but the main factor seems to be getting to know sorority women during the fall.

Every situation is different. Because it happened THIS ONE TIME does not mean it will ever happen again. Be like the Boy Scouts, "Be prepared." because you just never know if the magic will repeat again.

Seven recs for one girl.... that could have had the opposite effect.

The same thought occurred to me. I think you could reach a point of overkill...as in, "Enough! We'll make up our own mind, thank you!"

^^^
This! Deferred recruitment and all bets are off.

Veering as a reminder:


Mothers, biological sisters, grandmothers (in most cases), etc. -- Please don't forget to send in an [official legacy form, or the equivalent, for your legacy.

Now back to the main lane of the thread.

'Cause it's not like they'd know any better otherwise.

Also- PLEASE have the girl going through recruitment list on the sign up form that she is a legacy. (and what groups she is a legacy for). I know some people say not to do this as it might make other groups release the PNM, but based on the computer system I worked with, the report only shows OUR groups legacies, not other groups.

7 recs at another southern school might have been OK, but I get the impression from what I've read about UVA that 7 recs there will annoy the chapter and get the PNM a big giant "buh-bye." Unless the girl has friends who know her and will say "OMG, don't blame Blair for that, her mom is kind of a trainwreck and goes way overboard but she is nice."

I don't think this particular instance had anything to do with deferred rush. UNCalum said these were the daughter's friends from summer camp, not people she met the summer before.

But at another school, the chapters may simply get photocopies of the PNM's application where someone has hand-blacked out the legacy status... which is great except for the fact that human error may cause the wrong blacked-out copy to go to the wrong chapter. I understand times have changed since I was in college, and more stuff is computerized, but I still believe that if a legacy wants to inform her legacy chapter, she should do it through sorority channels with their legacy form. It minimizes the risk and your chapter still receives the legacy information.

Yes- She needs to do BOTH. As with a wrong blacked out form going to the wrong chapter, sometimes Recs come in late (we had several recs come in the day before preference), get misplaced, etc.(we are all human) so a legacy might be missed by the chapter. And if a girl is inadvertently dropped because her legacy status was not known, the mistake cannot be fixed if panhellenic wasn't informed via the application that she is a legacy.

I agree that the OPs question can be hard to answer without getting too far into membership selection, but I believe for schools in which recs are required, that being standard, just keeps the PNM on a level playing field, but lack of rec can be reason to release. So you can have all the friends you need to for a bid, but if you get released because you didn't follow directions for lack of better wording, your friends won't do you any good.

Yeah, I bet by the time the rush chair opened the seventh rec she was probably like, "Ugh; not HER again!!!"

I can't remember where I heard/read this, but I understand summer camp is huge in the South as far as making rush connections.