Why do some parents let their kids drop out?

[AZTheta]

In the wise words of Bill Cosby: Why is there air?

Important life lesson: you don't need to "get it", although I suspect that if you gave it more than a passing thought, you'd figure out the answer to your question. But to save you the effort, here's the primary reason: someone is suffering a loss. And that's exactly what it is for many young women who are experiencing rejection and failure for the first time. They didn't get what they wanted, or what they were told they wanted, or what they thought they wanted. It's painful, and the coping mechanisms are what they are.

I suspect that you'd be looking at this through a different lens had you actually gone through recruitment and had some first-hand experience and understanding of the entire process.

[carnation]

Why do they "let" them? These kids are almost always 18 and can do what they want. I've seen students drop out for far stupider reasons.

[TEAtime]

Different strokes for different folks. I know people who transfered schools because the sorority they were interested in wasn't represented on campus. There are a host of reasons that people make the decisions they do, why should they be judged for it if their actions don't impact anyone but themselves?

[Old_Row]

Did you know all these people personally? Did you talk to them personally before they left? Do you even know their names? If not I think you are just listening to and spreading dumb gossip that probably isn't even true and is exaggerated like when people say half the PNMs were dropped after first day or something. It isn't smart to believe and spread gossip. Try to concentrate on yourself and not what you think other people are doing and you will end up a lot happier.

[Kennedyy]

I know 4 personally. One told me through FB while the others texted me and told me to follow them on twitter/fb and to keep in touch...but I saw a few of the girls moving out of our dorms when I got back on bid day.

and I'm just curious why...but hey, I guess I'm evil for asking.

[adpiucf]

The question isn't why do some parents let their kid drop out of college after a failed recruitment. An 18 year old can do whatever they want. An 18 year old is an adult. The parent can't do anything to stop their kid from dropping out of college for any reason.

The question is why parents enable their children once they have made these choices and continue to support their lifestyle and pay their bills, rather than helping them by talking about it, going to therapy if necessary, helping them to understand that life is full of disappointments and how to work through them.

There are many parents who fail to take into account that part of their responsibility as a parent is to raise a productive member of society with mature coping skills. Parents should be emotionally supportive if their adult children suffer a minor disappointment like not getting their choice sorority bid, but they shouldn't enable those children to the point where they don't learn to deal with the consequences. It is just going to end badly when something truly catastrophic happens in their lives, mommy isn't around anymore, and they are left completely unable to function.

So, if you're asking "why," the answer is poor parenting.

[gracemom]

Kennedyy-- I sent you a pm

[TNAuburnMom]

I think this quote from adpiucf is my favorite comment ever on any discussion board.

"There are many parents who fail to take into account that part of their responsibility as a parent is to raise a productive member of society with mature coping skills."

[peppermint23]

Originally Posted by adpiucf

The question isn't why do some parents let their kid drop out of college after a failed recruitment. An 18 year old can do whatever they want. An 18 year old is an adult. The parent can't do anything to stop their kid from dropping out of college for any reason.

The question is why parents enable their children once they have made these choices and continue to support their lifestyle and pay their bills, rather than helping them by talking about it, going to therapy if necessary, helping them to understand that life is full of disappointments and how to work through them.

There are many parents who fail to take into account that part of their responsibility as a parent is to raise a productive member of society with mature coping skills. Parents should be emotionally supportive if their adult children suffer a minor disappointment like not getting their choice sorority bid, but they shouldn't enable those children to the point where they don't learn to deal with the consequences. It is just going to end badly when something truly catastrophic happens in their lives, mommy isn't around anymore, and they are left completely unable to function.

So, if you're asking "why," the answer is poor parenting.

I don't think everyone that drops out of recruitment is necessarily immature or was poorly parented, though.