sorority advice needed

[misscherrypie]

You know what, I'm remembering something(s) that happened when I was eighteen.



I didn't go to college right after High School, but did live and work in a dorm situation for about eighteen months after Graduation. Holy cannoli! Twenty women in one large attic between the ages of 18 and 23....I was too young and naive to "get" what the 22 and 23 year olds were doing...and they did their thing and we girls around our age would do ours. I made friends with the eighteen and nineteen year olds who were around, and the older girls would give me the heebee jeebies when they'd want to hang out with us younger girls. It was a "Hello....they're OLD! They don't get us....GO AWAY!"

There was this RA who was 26, and the way she'd always come up to us and say "Let's hang out! There's this coffee shop in town that you HAVE to go to!" made us want to run for the hills. We wanted to go hiking, and go camping and do our own thing and we thought that she was extremely creepy for wanting to hang out with us.

Looking back on that (hadn't thought of those times in....ten years....), I can see clearly how the women in the NPC groups on campus saw me, at twenty-eight wanting to hang out with them.

Tres Creepy.

Kallyssasmommy, I hope that my story didn't offend you.....but think back to when you were eighteen. Did you honestly want to spend an inordinate amount of time with someone who was twenty-six, twenty-seven or twenty-eight when you were that age? Perhaps this offers a bit of insight.

[kallyssasmommy]

Originally Posted by misscherrypie

You know what, I'm remembering something(s) that happened when I was eighteen.



I didn't go to college right after High School, but did live and work in a dorm situation for about eighteen months after Graduation. Holy cannoli! Twenty women in one large attic between the ages of 18 and 23....I was too young and naive to "get" what the 22 and 23 year olds were doing...and they did their thing and we girls around our age would do ours. I made friends with the eighteen and nineteen year olds who were around, and the older girls would give me the heebee jeebies when they'd want to hang out with us younger girls. It was a "Hello....they're OLD! They don't get us....GO AWAY!"

There was this RA who was 26, and the way she'd always come up to us and say "Let's hang out! There's this coffee shop in town that you HAVE to go to!" made us want to run for the hills. We wanted to go hiking, and go camping and do our own thing and we thought that she was extremely creepy for wanting to hang out with us.

Looking back on that (hadn't thought of those times in....ten years....), I can see clearly how the women in the NPC groups on campus saw me, at twenty-eight wanting to hang out with them.

Tres Creepy.

Kallyssasmommy, I hope that my story didn't offend you.....but think back to when you were eighteen. Did you honestly want to spend an inordinate amount of time with someone who was twenty-six, twenty-seven or twenty-eight when you were that age? Perhaps this offers a bit of insight.

Not Offended you have been one of the nicest people on this chat. When I was 16 I had friends in there 20's so to me age was never a big deal. I understand how to some it could be but I just wanted a chance.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by kallyssasmommy

1st and foremost let me address the issue of spelling and grammar so many of you brought up. A. I was typing my responses back to some of you very late at night and was tired. B. In the moment I didn't care about spelling or grammar I was just responding. C. Even if I did really use bad grammar and suck that bad at spelling who gives a hoot. Janetgrisell Thank you for a nice response and for not being rude like some of these other people on here. I will look into Beta Sigma Phi. ColdinCanada11 Thank you for the link I will look into that. I appreciate your response and thank you for clarifying what you were trying to say. Titchou Not sure what Rec writers are must have been something that we didn’t have. I did address the issue with all 4 chapters and they knew from day one my age and that I was a mother. I understand that they prefer a 4 year commitment however I know for a fact that a few girls I rushed with who are upperclassmen got bids. As far as my other commitments academically I am a full time student, I am part of 2 clubs, I have my own charity that I started, and I do a lot of community service projects and I work a part time job. I have a 3.2 GPA which has been maintained throughout all of college and as far as money goes let’s just put it like this I can afford to pay the membership fees quarterly. As I said in the beginning of this post I understand that there were spelling and grammar mistakes however I explained how I feel about that. Yes I agree 100 percent there does need to be criteria let me tell you and everyone else who questions this what it should be. A Member must have good grades I think that is very important. A member needs to be a good person someone who cares about others and helping others. A member needs to be someone who is determined, honest, and hard working. A member should be a women who is strong and knows herself and isn’t afraid to be herself. A Member should be someone who is trusting and loyal. A Member should be someone who knows what sisterhood means and lives by the philosophies established within that sisterhood. So would I admit a gang member, call me a liar call me crazy ect. But I won’t say that I wouldn’t. Not saying that I would either, but everyone has a story and everyone makes mistakes and I am a strong believer that everyone even gang member murders deserve a second chance. I hyphenated Panhellenic because that is how I saw it on something I looked at online. Thank you for wishing me luck. AZTheta I do that was the reason why because I was told. Whether or not a person was allowed to tell me or got in trouble for telling me I do not know but I was told that was the reason. I found what you said here to be kind of funny and yet interesting at the same time. That way you are responding and not reacting. This process develops self-control, insight, and perspective-taking abilities. There were many great points made in the responses that were written to you. You focused on a few things that you thought were judgmental and disciminatory, and didn't process the help that was being offered. I did very much so process “THE HELP” being offered. What I did not and will not process is the hostility and rudeness of some people. Those who I believe helped me in answering my questions and giving positive feedback I did acknowledge and thank. I am quite capable of doing all the things you said Thank you very much. You spelled something wrong too should I become the grammar police. I wouldn’t do that though because I understand sometimes people are tired or typing to fast and make mistakes and are too tired to read through things and fix them. I know the choice is mine of how I handle it and I think I have handled it quite well. This post was never about how I handled it though or what my fiancés looked like or me not being selected. I could care less about not being accepted. I have dealt with the fact that it was not meant to be doesn’t mean though that it is any less upsetting when you are told to your face the reason you were not invited in is because of your age and being a mother. I agree with you that your age does not make you mature I was not pointing out that it did I know lots of people older than myself who are more immature then a child. I was simply just stating that in my case my maturity could have been something that was beneficial had I been given a fair chance. AMIBLUE I do understand the time commitment it was made very clear and I have lots of friends in sororities and I know it’s a lot of work and not just about parties. That is one thing that attracted me to the sorority lifestyle the fact that so many girls give back to the community, education is important, sisterhood is important ect. I respect all of those things and want them for myself it was never about being able to go to mixers or party’s. Of course I want to spend time with my child but there are things in my life that I choose not to disclose that would of and still do make it possible that I can have it all. I spend lots of time with my daughter and she knows she comes first but I do not think there is anything wrong with having me time. Thank you for the good luck wishes. 33girl I will disclose the 4 sororities Kappa Delta, Alpha Delta Phi, Zeta, and Alpha Phi. Thank you for addressing the age issue. I agree my daughter does take a lot of my time but I am able to manage my time well. Also I never once said I expect anyone to cut me any slack. I would hope to be treated the same as anyone else mother or not. REE-XI I never said being older makes someone wiser I was stating that I am pretty mature and I understand there are advisors to inspire and teach the younger girls but being older means I have more experiences that I could share. As far as whom I am as a person offline or online I am me end of story and me is perfect just the way I am. If somebody doesn’t like it I think it’s their problem not mine. I don’t want to be affiliated with a date or a job or in this case sororities that don’t want me for me. Please Please tell me how I handle myself online????? Because the way I see it all I’ve done is ask for help to start something that could be a good thing. All I’ve done is be upfront and honest. All I’ve done is explain myself over and over again which I shouldn’t even have to do. A person shouldn’t be attacked and have people be rude to them when they ask for help. Yes I did come off a little defensive but when I feel disrespected and judged when all I am doing is asking for help yeah I am going to go on the defense a little bit. Furthermore, I am not fighting with anyone if someone wants to turn it into a fight as some have seemed to try and do I have no desire to even go there because I am more mature than that. However, I do have a right to respond and speak my mind. Oh Dubaisis I was so overjoyed to get to your post what a delight you are. Rush did fail for me so what I have moved on to greater and better things and am trying to start my own thing which is the whole reason I asked for help. I did not ask for help to get pettiness unsolicited judgments. You speak about mean girls and being bitter A. my friend I think you are a mean girl maybe you should watch the movie. B. No ones bitter at least not on my end. I never said I had anything under control obviously you turned this post into something ugly when it did not have to be. I never claimed that anything I start would be better or equivalent to anything already existing. I just wanted to create something for all of the women who feel discriminated against regardless of the reason. As far as appeal to other women I didn’t know you were an expert in sororities for moms good to know and good for you.
At the end of the day I just came on here seeking advice I am not trying to fight with anyone I respect everyone’s opinions as I wish mine would be respected.

QFP.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by misscherrypie

You know what, I'm remembering something(s) that happened when I was eighteen.



I didn't go to college right after High School, but did live and work in a dorm situation for about eighteen months after Graduation. Holy cannoli! Twenty women in one large attic between the ages of 18 and 23....I was too young and naive to "get" what the 22 and 23 year olds were doing...and they did their thing and we girls around our age would do ours. I made friends with the eighteen and nineteen year olds who were around, and the older girls would give me the heebee jeebies when they'd want to hang out with us younger girls. It was a "Hello....they're OLD! They don't get us....GO AWAY!"

There was this RA who was 26, and the way she'd always come up to us and say "Let's hang out! There's this coffee shop in town that you HAVE to go to!" made us want to run for the hills. We wanted to go hiking, and go camping and do our own thing and we thought that she was extremely creepy for wanting to hang out with us.

Looking back on that (hadn't thought of those times in....ten years....), I can see clearly how the women in the NPC groups on campus saw me, at twenty-eight wanting to hang out with them.

Tres Creepy.

Kallyssasmommy, I hope that my story didn't offend you.....but think back to when you were eighteen. Did you honestly want to spend an inordinate amount of time with someone who was twenty-six, twenty-seven or twenty-eight when you were that age? Perhaps this offers a bit of insight.

Huh?? For the past month, you've been mooning and complaining that the collegiate Greeks didn't want you, and two days later, you've suddenly "seen the light"????

[misscherrypie]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

Huh?? For the past month, you've been mooning and complaining that the collegiate Greeks didn't want you, and two days later, you've suddenly "seen the light"????

Actually taking the time to consider how I and my friends felt at eighteen (because like all of us, I've been there) when older women were interested in spending time with us and comparing that how (in all likelihood) others felt when I went through recruitment a few months ago can serve as a major kick in the backside. Hindsight is always 20/20.

I was invited to join my hometown Junior League as a provisional member when I was 21, after a friend of my Mother's indicated to the group that I might be a very nice potential member. Attended several events in member's homes, chatted, learned about and gained a healthy respect for the organization. I declined the invitation, because in my heart of hearts, I knew that wasn't the right fit for me at the time. I also would have been the youngest by about seven years if I'd decided to join, and that prospect felt a bit strange.

No harm, no foul.