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Maybe the female members could give the chapters their flowers as a sign of friendship? Or yellow roses for the same reason? That avoids the whole sticky popscicle thing and isn't likely to offend anyone.
I think it would be easier to have a social event that is more on the fun side. Obviously stepping up philanthropy will help your chapter's standing on campus, but also supporting other chapter's charities will help as well. I think a 3 social event is a good idea. The traditional sororities may be more on board with this, but it may be hard to get the traditional fraternities on board (egos, wanting to be Alpha males, etc).
I think if you have a variety of social mixers that appeal to both males and females, you'll find a happy medium and you're likely to get a better response.
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