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I can only speak for my own chapter, obviously, but I can explain somewhat on how our big/little matching works. (I'm only using big/little for ease in speaking, I know they are terms we don't use anymore...but in this case, it's probably easier than 'diamond sister' and 'new member')
We have 'temporary' bigs that we receive the day we accept our bids, and we use them to help new members transition into sorority life, help them meet new sisters, take them to dinner/meetings/etc. We only have one 'temporary' big, whereas other sororities on my campus will assign each new member a series of these role models.
We have done big/little matching in a couple different ways, but one of the ways that seemed to work better was a mutual selection process. Each of the new members submitted 3-5 active sisters that they would like to be their big, and each of the eligible active sisters submitted 3-5 names they would like to be their little. Unfortunately, sometimes you had a million sisters that wanted a specific new member, or vice versa. In those cases, or cases in which lists didn't match, the new member educator and her committee would use their best judgement.
In terms of your last 3 questions:
1. For us, being a big is more of a friendship and mentorship role. A lot of the girls in our chapter are bff's with their bigs, but I don't think fraternities would be the same. In my BF's fraternity, most guys are 'bros' with their big brothers, but not close in the way that sorority girls are.
2. We don't let seniors be bigs unless it's a very special situation, like if the senior never got a little, or if the senior's little dropped, things of that nature. Our bigs tend to be sophomores or juniors, depending on when they went through recruitment.
3. We do have 'twins' in the same pledge class
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