a reluctant PNM faces the music

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

You do realize that the same couple of poems get passed around and claimed by everyone, right? I can even guess what it was.

Right? Absolutely ridiculous.

[Tulip86]

Originally Posted by ADqtPiMel

Right? Absolutely ridiculous.

I get that it's normal that all groups all use the same poems and songs but I get how an 18 year old girl who loves 1 chapter, and dislikes the other can interpret it differently.

[drgnlady]

Given the intelligence of this PNM, I'm sure she realized her misconception after the fact and is just giving us her feeling in the moment. Face the Music is one of the most refreshingly self-aware PNMs ever on GC!

[MysticCat]

Non-NPC/non-female perspective, but I can imagine a PNM thinking that the second sorority "stole" the poem, especially when coupled with the fact that people at Piano seemed to know who she was, while her rusher at Violin didn't. That fosters an insincerity vibe.

My sense was that facethemusic was relaying her impressions at the time. If that's the case, and If there are poems that everyone uses, we'll hope she learned that once she was on the other side of recruitment.

Serious question -- why would a chapter use the same poem they know other groups will use? It would seem to me to make sense for ABC to have apoem (or song or whatever) that is specific to them.

/guyness

[FSUZeta]

the different groups make it their own, by inserting "ABC" or "DEF" at the appropriate time. In my experience as a recruitment advisor, the chapters are about changing up everything concerning recruitment every year, basically reinventing the wheel as it were, but not spiffing up the pref. ceremony at all. Not that they are especially attached to it, but that it is too much work.

Add to that that ABC might think that they were the first to use the poem, while DEF thinks the same thing, and there you have it. Neither is "giving it" to the other group.

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Are you sure that second dog isn't secretly a cat?

I dunno... what do you think?

[ADqtPiMel]

Originally Posted by Tulip86

I get that it's normal that all groups all use the same poems and songs but I get how an 18 year old girl who loves 1 chapter, and dislikes the other can interpret it differently.

Yeah, but it's still completely ridiculous to be "seething mad" and call it "stolen property."

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

There are actually lots of people who have lions and other exotic cats as pets in the US. Watch the documentary "The Elephant in the Living Room". It is eye opening.

You sayin' you keepin' a panda in Phoenix?

(sorry about the side convos, sort of, but just killing time while waiting to go out & now working through this thread, which has become very entertaining to me!)

[SydneyK]

Originally Posted by Tulip86

I get that it's normal that all groups all use the same poems and songs but I get how an 18 year old girl who loves 1 chapter, and dislikes the other can interpret it differently.

Originally Posted by drgnlady

Given the intelligence of this PNM, I'm sure she realized her misconception after the fact and is just giving us her feeling in the moment. Face the Music is one of the most refreshingly self-aware PNMs ever on GC!

This is what I'm thinking, too. Rush can be such an overwhelming process - a process that deliberately takes people on emotional roller coaster rides. Combine that with 18 year old women taking the ride for the first time, having little clue as to what expect... I can completely see how facethemusic would feel like the material had been ripped off. Especially considering what MC said about the lack of the rusher's sincerity.

[IrishLake]

Yeah, I'm sure the OP realized that the girls who may have gone to Violin first and Piano later may have thought the same bad things about Piano. That's the bad thing about not using completely original material.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by AzTheta

You sayin' you keepin' a panda in Phoenix?

(sorry about the side convos, sort of, but just killing time while waiting to go out & now working through this thread, which has become very entertaining to me!)

Have you been to my backyard? (AKA the Japanese Friendship Garden?)

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Non-NPC/non-female perspective, but I can imagine a PNM thinking that the second sorority "stole" the poem, especially when coupled with the fact that people at Piano seemed to know who she was, while her rusher at Violin didn't. That fosters an insincerity vibe.

My sense was that facethemusic was relaying her impressions at the time. If that's the case, and If there are poems that everyone uses, we'll hope she learned that once she was on the other side of recruitment.

Serious question -- why would a chapter use the same poem they know other groups will use? It would seem to me to make sense for ABC to have apoem (or song or whatever) that is specific to them.

/guyness

They may not know what the other chapter is using. Even if a significant number of members had previously pref'd at the other chapter, you'd be surprised how few remember the details of the ceremony. It's easy at a campus with three other groups like where I went to school. Our prefs were so different, but in a school with this many chapters, the overlap will be inevitable since we have so many songs, etc in common.

ETA: In the end, saying our prefs are all so different is pretty funny anyway since in the end they all do and say pretty much the same thing. We use the same songs and poems because they convey the same message that we all want to send to the PNMs. You could take the same ceremony and insert new set of letters and give it to every sorority on campus and the PNMs would come out swearing that ABC's was better than XYZ's because of preconceived ideas, bonds formed during the week, conversations during the party, etc.

[facethemusic]

Oh my! I'm so sorry for causing so much confusion over this y'all!!

Originally Posted by drgnlady

I'm sure she realized her misconception after the fact and is just giving us her feeling in the moment.

^Exactly right. I now know that at least half the chapters on campus use some version of this poem on Pref Day. I think it's unfortunate because it probably confuses a lot of PNMs as it did myself, but I understand why it happens - it's a great addition to any Pref ceremony. I was just saying how I felt in the moment - my pref experience at Piano had been so wonderful and my experience at Violin so poor that "copying" the poem made Violin the bad guy in my mind. Ridiculous, I know, but you're just so emotionally high-strung during rush....

By the way, y'all have gotten me curious, so I've been on Google trying to figure out who (if anyone) the poem actually belongs to. I've found some stuff that seems to point to Piano as its original source, but I'm not 100% sure and my curiosity has now been irreversibly aroused. I'll let y'all know what the poem was at the end of my story and see if any of you have any insight.

On with the story!!

[MaryPoppins]

Originally Posted by facethemusic

On with the story!!

Yippee!

[facethemusic]

That night, when we'd submitted our preferences, our rush was officially over. It was as if every PNM on campus was collectively breathing a huge sigh of relief.....we were done. We'd made it. Now all we had to do was wait.

I, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck. I regretted what I'd put down on that card, and I'd psyched myself into thinking I was going to be dropped that night because of it. Time was dragging by impossibly slowly and I knew I wasn't going to get a wink of sleep that night...

Kat had preffed her houses like this:
1. Piano
2. Violin,
admitting she'd be disappointed if she ended up at Violin but would eventually be okay. I was happy for her, but it meant I couldn't explain to her why I was so nervous - it would've just made her feel worse about Violin, which I didn't want to do since there was a real possibility she'd end up there.

My Pi Chi group went out to dinner to celebrate the end of rush, and I seized the opportunity to talk to Amy, who I trusted. Her pref card had looked like this:
1. Flute
2. Piano
3. Trumpet,
and while she badly wanted Flute, she said she knew she'd be happy at any of the groups. I took a deep breath and admitted to her that....














































































I had suicided Piano.

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW, suiciding is NEVER a good idea. I assure you that I'm a firm believer of that. Looking back, it was am extremely stupid decision that I'd made with my heart and not my head. Between the rusher who didn't have a clue who I was, the "stolen" poem, and the wild (and wrong) guess that I was "outgoing," my negative impression of Violin after Pref had been so strong that I managed to convince myself I'd rather not be in a sorority at all than and up here. NOT TRUE. I would've been a little disappointed if I'd seen these letters on my bid, but I would've eventually come to love it, I'm sure. Dumb, dumb, dumb. And it made that night one of the roughest nights of my life.

When I told Amy what I'd done, I broke down crying, suddenly deeply regretful of my decision and terrified that when morning came I would be bid-less. She thought I was a little crazy but reassured me it would be okay and prayed with me. My mom shared her sentiment when I called her after getting home from dinner. She was thrilled I'd fallen in love with Piano and convinced that that was where I was supposed to be, but wearied by my rash decision to suicide. But it was too late now, she said. She assured me that she'd be sending prayers my way for what was probably going to be a long night.

And it was. I turned off my light around midnight and tried to go to sleep, but all I could do was stare at my phone, convinced that it was going to ring any second. My Pi Chi had told us that we'd get a call from her either that night or the following morning if she had bad news to deliver. If we hadn't heard from her by 8:00, we were to head to the bid distribution location.

I gave up trying to sleep and quietly entertained myself all night. Kat slept soundly - good little PNM that she was, maximizing her preferences. I watched YouTube with my laptop and headphones, read a book, and every so often cracked open my Bible, telling God I was sorry for judging Violin so harshly and begging for a chance to don Piano's letters come morning time.

Once 6:00 am rolled around I really started getting scared. I could no longer focus on funny cat videos or my book. All I could do was alternate between staring at my phone, waiting for it to ring, and the clock, ticking by impossibly slowly. Tick tock, tick tock....

Then at precisely 8:00, a sudden noise made me jump a bazillion feet in the air....