Improving sorority relations for mixers

[gr33kfan]

Originally Posted by AXOmom

I'll keep this one shorter. Maybe

1) Regarding emails versus texts - again, she said that you need to think of it like dating - email's, unless it was formal event of some kind, is a bit much for a mixer - this is an area where she said a text comes off as more of a casual, play it cool, no big deal kind of thing. Sending an involved email for a mixer would come across like a guy asking you out for coffee and showing up in a suit with roses and candy - it's overkill and too formal for the event. Maybe that's just her and other social chairs would feel differently, but for the simple mixers....keep it simple. Don't sweat it this much.

2) When in doubt, start with the dinner. If they like your guys, they will stay and hang out. Move to a mixer for the next thing.

3) I don't mean to suggest that guys in relationships can't be social (she mentioned her BF did a great job of going to socials and being social while respecting her), BUT there were times when they did things with some fraternities and if a lot of the guys had GF's they seemed to stick by the wall and not be terribly social. Just be sure your guys understand that all they have to do is be friendly and meet people- regardless of their status.

4) If the mixer thing is stressing you out (in terms of how to ask, when to ask etc.) she emphasized starting with big "invite everybody" parties and have a lot of them. Rent out a venue if your house is too small or use a live-out. Takes the pressure off of you in the sense that no one has to say yes or no - they just have to show up. It doesn't have to be a theme. Just invite people. If your guys have GF's have them invite their friends over. Have date-dash cocktail parties or dance parties. Again, keep it simple and don't sweat it at first.

Okay, that wasn't much shorter. Sorry. I'm an English teacher. I can't shut up.

Thanks again! Anyone have any input on the email/texting situation?

Dinner sounds like a good way to start.

We do have open parties for people to come to and they're usually pretty good/crowded, just sorority girls don't really come unless they have friends in the frat. If we are having something going on for a weekend, surely a sorority will be able to find parties at the "better" frats or will have mixers etc. so this idea has already been tried I guess :/. So I think we need to start with more personal things to expect them to show up.

[HQWest]

The grab-a-date is a good idea. The attached guys can bring their girl. All the unattached guys can grab a friend (who is in a sorority) and help get the word out about what a fun group of guys you are. I recommend something easy like BBQ or flat out goofy like disco bowling or paintball.

If the sororities are all a lot bigger - you might try having a Swap. Only invite their new member class for a fun no alcohol activity like an ice cream social

[AXOmom]

[QUOTE=gr33kfan;2135421]Thanks again! Anyone have any input on the email/texting situation?

Dinner sounds like a good way to start.

We do have open parties for people to come to and they're usually pretty good/crowded, just sorority girls don't really come unless they have friends in the frat. If we are having something going on for a weekend, surely a sorority will be able to find parties at the "better" frats or will have mixers etc. so this idea has already been tried I guess :/. So I think we need to start with more personal things to expect them to show up.[/QUOTE]


Is the problem that its only girls that already have friends in the fraternity and you want to meet more/new girls? In that case, you need to publicize your events better and encourage the girls who do come to bring friends.

Whether or not they would choose another event over yours would depend, I guess, on your campus culture. On her campus, fraternities tended to each have some type of "BIG" event or events they do but not every fraternity has a "BIG" event or huge party every weekend, so not many overlap. Other fraternties and sororities may have smaller parties on the same weekend as some fraternities big party, but girls will head to the "BIG" event first and then go to the smaller parties later or vice-versa. In other words - they don't choose between yours and someone else's -they make the rounds, so unless things are radically different on your campus (they may be), they aren't choosing between you and someone else for these things - it just adds you to the list of things they will do that night as opposed to ignoring you entirely.

She agreed with HQWest's suggestions and added one - a weekend date dash to the beach/mountains/lake/river etc...Rent some cabins/houseboats/a small hotel or block or rooms and take friends/dates/girlfriends. Very few people will say no to hanging out with friends at any one of these places over a weekend.

[gr33kfan]

[QUOTE=AXOmom;2135440]

Originally Posted by gr33kfan

Thanks again! Anyone have any input on the email/texting situation?

Dinner sounds like a good way to start.

We do have open parties for people to come to and they're usually pretty good/crowded, just sorority girls don't really come unless they have friends in the frat. If we are having something going on for a weekend, surely a sorority will be able to find parties at the "better" frats or will have mixers etc. so this idea has already been tried I guess :/. So I think we need to start with more personal things to expect them to show up.[/QUOTE]


Is the problem that its only girls that already have friends in the fraternity and you want to meet more/new girls? In that case, you need to publicize your events better and encourage the girls who do come to bring friends.

Whether or not they would choose another event over yours would depend, I guess, on your campus culture. On her campus, fraternities tended to each have some type of "BIG" event or events they do but not every fraternity has a "BIG" event or huge party every weekend, so not many overlap. Other fraternties and sororities may have smaller parties on the same weekend as some fraternities big party, but girls will head to the "BIG" event first and then go to the smaller parties later or vice-versa. In other words - they don't choose between yours and someone else's -they make the rounds, so unless things are radically different on your campus (they may be), they aren't choosing between you and someone else for these things - it just adds you to the list of things they will do that night as opposed to ignoring you entirely.

She agreed with HQWest's suggestions and added one - a weekend date dash to the beach/mountains/lake/river etc...Rent some cabins/houseboats/a small hotel or block or rooms and take friends/dates/girlfriends. Very few people will say no to hanging out with friends at any one of these places over a weekend.

I think our campus culture is one where people are choosing between events and don't pick us. Also, most frats here don't really have "BIG" events like you are describing, at least not on campus.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Most NPC sororities have rules that mixers must be alcohol-free, or if not alcohol-free, held at a third-party vendor like a club which then takes responsibility for carding underagers, etc. When this rule first came out, at some schools, there was a problem with non-NPC groups like service sororities or dance teams not having these rules...so naturally the fraternities started blowing off NPC groups to mix with these other groups because girls drinking are more fun than girls not drinking.

I won't ask if the NPC groups at your school follow this or not, that's not the point. The point is if you mix with a non-NPC don't take advantage of their lack of rules. If NPC groups have (example) a rule that mixers must end at midnight, then you should end your mixer with the flag team at midnight as well...even though they don't have that rule.

Get it?

Yup! Sounds good, thanks.