Teaching formal manners as part of pledging/new membership?

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

But even the rules that can seem arbitrary can matter -- where you put the napkin when you get up from the table can be a signal to servers as to whether you're coming back. (In your chair means you're coming back; loosely folded to the left of your plate means you are not.)

This is actually debated among etiquette experts, so the best way to convey something to your server is to speak to them (or more precisely, they should ask you).

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

This is actually debated among etiquette experts, so the best way to convey something to your server is to speak to them (or more precisely, they should ask you).

Fair enough, but I will say it's how I was taught (by my parents/family -- never took a class). That said, I was taught that when placed on the table, the napkin should be loosely folded in such a way that no food can be seen on it.

[aephi alum]

Formal dinner-table etiquette was not part of my new member program. I learned proper etiquette from my parents, at the dinner table at home, starting as soon as I could hold a fork. IMO this is how it should be done.

Slight digression... I eat using the Continental style. My mother tried to teach me the American style, but she herself eats Continental style, so it was a matter of "do as I say, not as I do". Both methods are acceptable, so eventually she gave up.