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AXOmom, you are correct that I cannot see ever thinking using a gun in any way, shape or form to discipline a child is going to send the right message. What he did was in order to discipline her. Is it the equivalent of holding a gun to her head? No. But we don't know - and can't - what she took away from the incident in terms of fear or threatening. I don't mean to intimate that this is the equivalent of obvious and unquestionable abuse. I do think that the celebration of his actions ignores the potential for it to be abusive.
How many times after the fact do family and friends of abuse victims see the warning signs only AFTER it has escalated? Destroying property (and whoever bought it, it seems to have been "her" computer; just because he paid for her underwear would you say it was "his"?) in a violent manner would certainly raise concerns in my mind. It may be a one-time thing; it may not.
At the very least, he chose a poor way to instill his lesson.
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