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I was a Pi Chi (Rho Chi, Rho Gamma, whatever) my junior year of college. We had probably about 90 girls going through formal recruitment for 3 chapters. I told my Pi Chi group that my goal was for each of them to receive a bid. Luckily, that happened. My university smartly takes each girl in one at a time on bid day to give them their bid cards and t-shirts. Only then do they sign their bids. Sure, after pref they put their preference in terms of groups, but they don't sign until the next day. In our total recruitment group, only one did not sign her bid card. Because the office where you sign your cards are at the back of the student union, she was able to go back to her dorm quietly while everyone met in the common area after they got their bids. I think this allows for less disappointment, or at least if there is disappointment, you can deal with it quietly. We of course encouraged girls to at least go to the bid day activities and that they didn't have to go through pledging ceremonies if they didn't "feel" the connection after that day. Sure, it meant you couldn't go through recruitment for another year, but it's not like they were missing out on COB (because all groups were always over total after recruitment).
I do remember that I COB'd my sophomore year (there were only 5 open spots in my sorority at that time due to sisters studying abroad (they become inactive or alumnae if they do this)). I remember going to CB's and Tri Sigma's preference nights with a few other girls. I came back to my apartment and got onto AIM (before there was facebook) and a girl that was at CB's preference with me IM'd me and said she was so excited we were gonna be sisters. What? We hadn't even gotten our bid cards yet (we don't sign preference rankings during COB) and I had been to two houses, how could she know I was going CB? Well she had ONLY gone to CB's so she assumed we would be sisters. We talked about how the parties went, and while I agreed that I had a connection with CB sisters and everything went peachy, I was unsure. Frankly, at this point, I would've been happy either place that I went. Most people don't feel this way, but I had friends in both chapters and saw that they were dedicated to their philanthropies as well as being good sisters to each other.
My roommate came home soon after I got this message. She was a CB and we had a hard time during this week keeping silent about recruitment. Luckily we were both music majors so there was plenty more to talk about. Anyway, when she came home, she began to get ready to meet her sisters (bid activities were set to begin at 10 PM that night). I could tell she wasn't happy. Before I could ask her what was up, I got a knock on our door. It was the Greek advisor, handing out bid cards. She handed me mine. I thanked her, came back to my room to open the card. I was happy to see Tri-Sigma's bid card with the crest emblazoned on it and a hand written note on the inside extending a bid to me. That was when my roommate told me that while CB thought I was awesome (with a 3.9 GPA and loads of activities to my name), she mentioned that they thought I was "fake" and "stuck up".
Color me shocked because I had never been called that before in my life. Frankly, I was offended. I called my mother to tell her that I was happy that I was going to join Tri-Sigma, but that I was unhappy that I was labeled something that I was not, especially if that affected their decision to extend a bid to me. The Greek system at my school is small so if one chapter thinks one thing, it usually goes around pretty quickly and can ruin your reputation.
I came back in to find my roommate crying, sad that I wasn't going to be joining her sorority. I told her that it would be okay, that we would still be roommates, but jokingly told her that when greek week rolled around, all bets were off. She felt better and went to join her chapter.
I told the girl on IM where I received my bid and she was shocked. She told me good luck but was sad we weren't going to be pledge sisters. I dressed and went to meet my new sisters. They were so happy to see me- so many of them said "I was sure you were going to go to CB! We wanted you so badly but we were sure we weren't going to get you!" We had a great night that night and spent the next day tanning at one of the school's pools. We even had the entire chapter go to a tattoo salon where a few sisters got violet and sailboat tattoos. That night I went through our pledge ceremony with four other girls who would be my pledge class.
TL/DR: I was happy where I joined even if others were sure I was going another route. I wouldn't change it for the world.
Two years later, my roommate from that year turned her letters and pin in and dropped her affiliation. While her chapter has had some rough years, she felt that they were targeting the wrong type of girls for their chapter. She expressed this to me when were were Pi Chi's together. My chapter has maintained their standards and has always had quota + since I graduated.
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I can't believe she would tell you that. With all the secrecy surrounding how new members are chosen telling you something like that is just tactless, rude, and likely violating sorority policy. Yikes.
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