Guidance

[Psi U MC Vito]

Ultimately the choice is yours. However consider this. You have given a pretty big list of cons if you stay, but can you build any kind of list of pros? If not, your choice should be pretty clear.

[nosnow2012]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Ultimately the choice is yours. However consider this. You have given a pretty big list of cons if you stay, but can you build any kind of list of pros? If not, your choice should be pretty clear.

You are right, I have listed many cons and I am fully aware of this. Though, all throughout my pledgeship I have coercively persuaded myself to stay with the fraternity with ideas which have included:
• If i just make it through this semester I'll be done cleaning/ pledging and I will have free time which will be awesome. (a large motivator)
• The ability to party in a safe* environment. (*Rule free)
• The ability to get alcohol from a brother when I find an occasion calls for it.
• The "promise" of meeting and developing friendships/etc. with women as a house. (We haven't had a real social event since October.)
• Being able to call 30+ other pledge brothers your friend.
• Having a place to live next semester.
• Living with my pledge brothers.


I guess what I'm asking is if it's okay that I depledge after an entire semester if I have just now realized my heart is not 100% devoted to this place. Is it absolutely horrible that I have just now come to this conclusion?

[33girl]

It's better to do it now, than to go through with initiation and go inactive directly after. And I know you know this, but you can get those "pros" at any fraternity.

If anyone should ask when you're going through rush again why you did what you did, just be honest and say "I didn't look around enough when I rushed initially, and I liked the guys I met at XYZ and thought that was enough. I really wanted it to work, but I came to the hard decision that it just wasn't the right place for me. I hope everything works out well for them."

If next semester, you rush a fraternity that is intent on running down the one you're currently pledging/depledged - steer clear. They may be the same sow's ear dressed as a silk purse. The above should be the answer to the question and the subject closed.

[lucgreek]

Your pledge process being longer than 12 weeks (and spanning more than a semester) is raising my risk management flags. The fact that they are trying to get you to sign contract to live in the house BEFORE you're even initiated is also raising some flags (GCers who have more experience with housing, feel free to correct me if this is standard practice).

Based on these things and the fact the organization is under the microscope of the national organization, as well as the structure of your pledgeship seemingly falling apart, I would have strong reservations about initiating into this group. I'd definitely touch base with a chapter or faculty adviser or someone from the national organization and see what the story really is.