Jewish wedding traditions adopted by non-Jewish couple

[ellebud]

I believe that she would want a Yichud room. I had never seen this until recently.

And the most traditional of chuppahs is four poles that hold up a tallis (or tallit). That is the prayer shawl that men wear and now, in reform and possibly conservative synagogues (help me here...I'm not as familiar with conservative traditions) women now wear them as well.

A chuppah can be as simple or as elegant as the bride and groom (or the people footing the bill) want it to be. The ones here are amazing. But the chuppah is not only the starting of a new family, the chuppah will (hopefully) shield and shelter the new couple. And the parents are not excluded from this picture. Although they are not directly under the chuppah they stand next to it. Hopefully this signifies the parents' blessings and support.

(And just know that when Ellebud is standing up there...I'll be the one sobbing with joy. I'm a sucker for a happy beginning.)

[barbino]

ellebud, what is a Yichud room?
Also, I hate to say it, but I was the one who recently suggested to our church administration that we have a "Christian Seder." Due to comments on here, I am rethinking this. I have a Christian friend who has had one in her own home, though (I was not there) and we have discussed this. I had two married Jewish friends who met at a seder and loved to tell their story.

[aephi alum]

Yichud means seclusion. Immediately after the ceremony, the bride and groom leave the chuppah and go to a separate space where they spend the first moments of their married life together, without family and friends intruding. In the old days, the marriage would be consummated during this time. My husband and I spent our yichud saying to each other, "Holy shit, we're married?!" LOL

ETA: I think this is a great idea to incorporate into a wedding, no matter the couple's religion(s). It's nice not to be inundated by well-wishers and thrown into a receiving line when you've just exchanged vows seconds ago.

[CutiePie2000]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Yichud means seclusion. Immediately after the ceremony, the bride and groom leave the chuppah and go to a separate space where they spend the first moments of their married life together, without family and friends intruding. In the old days, the marriage would be consummated during this time. My husband and I spent our yichud saying to each other, "Holy shit, we're married?!" LOL

ETA: I think this is a great idea to incorporate into a wedding, no matter the couple's religion(s). It's nice not to be inundated by well-wishers and thrown into a receiving line when you've just exchanged vows seconds ago.

I think this is a very nice idea as well and definitely has applications for more secular couples.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by aephi alum

Yichud means seclusion. Immediately after the ceremony, the bride and groom leave the chuppah and go to a separate space where they spend the first moments of their married life together, without family and friends intruding. In the old days, the marriage would be consummated during this time. My husband and I spent our yichud saying to each other, "Holy shit, we're married?!" LOL

ETA: I think this is a great idea to incorporate into a wedding, no matter the couple's religion(s). It's nice not to be inundated by well-wishers and thrown into a receiving line when you've just exchanged vows seconds ago.

I like this. In many situations, it's probably the only actual alone time you'll get for the entire day until the shindig is over.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I like this. In many situations, it's probably the only actual alone time you'll get for the entire day until the shindig is over.

Fewer than half of couples actually have sex on their wedding days. Most are too tired by the time they are done, and have done it before anyway, so they just go to sleep.

This isn't to say that most Jewish couples actually do it in the yichud room anymore, but as someone upthread said, just sitting and saying "holy sh*t, we're married" as just the two of you is important, too.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

This isn't to say that most Jewish couples actually do it in the yichud room anymore, but as someone upthread said, just sitting and saying "holy sh*t, we're married" as just the two of you is important, too.

This was more what I was referring to (because you never have time on your wedding day to say "oh hey, new husband, how's it going?") Seems like a good chance to just SIT and be by yourselves for a little but before the party gets going.

Not so much actually um, doing it.

Awkward moment.

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This was more what I was referring to (because you never have time on your wedding day to say "oh hey, new husband, how's it going?") Seems like a good chance to just SIT and be by yourselves for a little but before the party gets going.

Not so much actually um, doing it.

Awkward moment.

Can you imagine actually doing it and then having to get your wedding dress, hair, makeup etc. ready for the reception?

Also, that whole thing about everyone knowing that's what you're doing.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by ellebud

I believe that she would want a Yichud room. I had never seen this until recently.

And the most traditional of chuppahs is four poles that hold up a tallis (or tallit). That is the prayer shawl that men wear and now, in reform and possibly conservative synagogues (help me here...I'm not as familiar with conservative traditions) women now wear them as well.

A chuppah can be as simple or as elegant as the bride and groom (or the people footing the bill) want it to be. The ones here are amazing. But the chuppah is not only the starting of a new family, the chuppah will (hopefully) shield and shelter the new couple. And the parents are not excluded from this picture. Although they are not directly under the chuppah they stand next to it. Hopefully this signifies the parents' blessings and support.

(And just know that when Ellebud is standing up there...I'll be the one sobbing with joy. I'm a sucker for a happy beginning.)

I was raised in a Conservative Egalitarian synagogue (affiliated with USCJ). I was called to the torah as a bat mitzvah and indeed have a tallis.

Chuppah traditions also vary regionally...some are held by four attendants, some are simply draped over the bride and groom, etc. I don't know about the suspended chuppah referenced upthread; I've never seen that.

And I can't believe there are religions that DON'T have a yichud room :-)

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by ellebud

And the most traditional of chuppahs is four poles that hold up a tallis (or tallit). That is the prayer shawl that men wear and now, in reform and possibly conservative synagogues (help me here...I'm not as familiar with conservative traditions) women now wear them as well.

I think women wearing tallits and kippahs is still a pretty liberal thing, and more right-leaning congregations don't accept it.