Hi! I'm not greek...

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by CuriousQueer

Hey there! As I said in the title, I'm not a member of any Greek organization--much less a social one. Sorry, in advance, for the long post.

I suppose I should introduce myself.
I'm a 20-year-old butch woman, living/going to school in Florida. When I first started college, I didn't have the slightest interest in greek orgs... but recently that's begun to change. The idea of a "sisterhood" is very appealing to me, at this point in my life.

I'm curious about two things:
(1) Are there any sororities that would welcome me despite my gender nonconformity? I'm under the impression that most greek letter orgs have dress codes for their members, for certain events. Has anyone heard of a sorority that would allow a member to wear suits and ties? I've been reluctant to ask acquaintances that are in sororities, because they generally seem so involved in their femininity. So involved, that they overlook the possibility that butch might be interested. If I ever bring up the greek orgs in conversation, men and women alike assume that my masculinity means I have no interest in greek life. (Or maybe I'm reading them wrong. Hopefully I'm reading them wrong.)

(2) Even if I let my gender questions slip to the back of my mind... isn't 20 too old for this?

*sigh* After this post, I should be able to take a look around the rest of forum; hopefully I'll find some of the answers I seek. BUT, if someone would help me out by answering in this thread, I would greatly appreciate it.

It depends on the specific chapters on your specific campus.

I don't know that there are any NPC groups that have skirts/dresses written into stone for anything (though I can't speak to others' rituals), but some chapters may be open to something different, and others may not be. For example, if everyone in the chapter wears black dresses during the last stage of recruitment (pref), and you wish to wear a menswear-style suit, that will send a message to PNM's. One chapter may embrace that message as a way to show how diverse and welcoming they are, while another may worry that it will make them look "weird" to the PNM's.

On the other hand, you have a choice on how flexible to be as well. Are you willing to put on a black dress one day out of the year? What about something like a dressy women's pantsuit? While I wouldn't tell you to compromise your own identity, in many chapters, tomboy types do things for recruitment they wouldn't normally want to do (and if I'm reading your post right, you are butch, but still identify as female).

The age thing also depends on the school, but at many schools, upperclassmen can have a successful rush if they are willing to consider all chapters.

You say you are in Florida, and there are people who can give more info on which schools are more traditional and which may be more open-minded about new members.

[summer_gphib]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

It depends on the specific chapters on your specific campus.

I don't know that there are any NPC groups that have skirts/dresses written into stone for anything (though I can't speak to others' rituals), but some chapters may be open to something different, and others may not be. For example, if everyone in the chapter wears black dresses during the last stage of recruitment (pref), and you wish to wear a menswear-style suit, that will send a message to PNM's. One chapter may embrace that message as a way to show how diverse and welcoming they are, while another may worry that it will make them look "weird" to the PNM's.

On the other hand, you have a choice on how flexible to be as well. Are you willing to put on a black dress one day out of the year? What about something like a dressy women's pantsuit? While I wouldn't tell you to compromise your own identity, in many chapters, tomboy types do things for recruitment they wouldn't normally want to do (and if I'm reading your post right, you are butch, but still identify as female).

The age thing also depends on the school, but at many schools, upperclassmen can have a successful rush if they are willing to consider all chapters.

You say you are in Florida, and there are people who can give more info on which schools are more traditional and which may be more open-minded about new members.

This is really good advice. To be honest, I loathe dressing up, and always have. But a part of being Greek meant that a few times a year, I had to put on a cocktail dress and high heels. Did I love it? No. Was it me? Not really, I've always been a more casual person. But the joys I got out of being in my organizations meant more to me than the fact I had to get "gussied up." Everyone of us has had moments we "didn't love" or that didn't feel 100 percent authentic to who we are, (how many of us really enjoyed every aspect being in an overcrowded room that was 112 degrees, smiling and talking to freshmen about their majors in 800 different parties in one night!??) but the end goal of being part of something bigger than yourself is worth it. Being in a sorority is about sisterhood, tradition, and believing in your organization.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by DeltaBetaBaby

I don't know that there are any NPC groups that have skirts/dresses written into stone for anything (though I can't speak to others' rituals), but some chapters may be open to something different, and others may not be.

Our materials specifically state that we may not wear pants to any ritual event. It must be a dress or a skirt/blouse combination. We can wear pants for badge attire, though. I guess it varies from organization to organization.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by victoriana

Our materials specifically state that we may not wear pants to any ritual event. It must be a dress or a skirt/blouse combination. We can wear pants for badge attire, though. I guess it varies from organization to organization.

I was going to reply with this, but you beat me to it!

I remember when I attended convetion 5 years ago, there was a sister whom I met and sat close to in nearly all of our general sessions who was in a similar situation as the OP. She would wear a dress shirt with a tie and pants when badge attire was required, but during rituals when we were required to wear our whites, she was wearing a dress.

if you're going to be a sister of a sorority, you should be allowed to be yourself, but be aware that there might be requirements for certain organizations that you must adhere to. And as others have said, depending on where you go to school will depend on how accepting people are of you. Just make sure that you're comfortable and that you're not compromising everything you like and want just to be in a chapter. Your sisters should like you for who you are.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I was going to reply with this, but you beat me to it!

I remember when I attended convetion 5 years ago, there was a sister whom I met and sat close to in nearly all of our general sessions who was in a similar situation as the OP. She would wear a dress shirt with a tie and pants when badge attire was required, but during rituals when we were required to wear our whites, she was wearing a dress.

if you're going to be a sister of a sorority, you should be allowed to be yourself, but be aware that there might be requirements for certain organizations that you must adhere to. And as others have said, depending on where you go to school will depend on how accepting people are of you. Just make sure that you're comfortable and that you're not compromising everything you like and want just to be in a chapter. Your sisters should like you for who you are.

Tau love forever and ever!! P.S. We should talk more