Deactivate/Terminate

[CougADPi]

I actually did go inactive as an undergrad and thought that I had been terminated at the time (due to personal issues not because I didn't love being an ADPi). I thank the powers that be that it never happened, and am currently striving to be a better alum then I was an active. So there are some of us who may have been through something like what he is dealing with, but I'm guessing we are few and far between.

monster, I recommend talking to your HQ and seeing what they say. There may be other options other than deactivation/termination. You never know how you will feel 10 years down the road, and may end up regretting the decision to throw in the towel. Only HQ can give you the true answer as to what needs to be done.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by CougADPi

So there are some of us who may have been through something like what he is dealing with, but I'm guessing we are few and far between.

You pursued deactivation and/or termination of your membership? Going inactive as a collegiate and thinking that meant you were terminated is not necessarily the same thing as pursuing deactivation and/or termination. Unless you went inactive with the hopes that they would terminate your membership.

Originally Posted by CougADPi

monster, I recommend talking to your HQ and seeing what they say.

Yes and I wonder how many times this needs to be typed before the OP gets it. Coming to Greekchat before contacting his HQ doesn't make sense but that's the case for quite a few threads on Greekchat.

[CougADPi]

Originally Posted by DrPhil

You pursued deactivation and/or termination of your membership? Going inactive as a collegiate and thinking that meant you were terminated is not necessarily the same thing as pursuing deactivation and/or termination. Unless you went inactive with the hopes that they would terminate your membership.

I did. I went inactive then turned in all my things with letters on them and was told I was going to be terminated. Like I said, I had personal issues at the time, and it was probably the hardest period of my life (I'm tearing up just thinking about it). I don't know why I was never terminated. Maybe it fell through the cracks. Maybe they knew eventually I would want to be active again. All I know is that my little D held on to my badge and a couple years later mailed it back to me with a note that said, "This still belongs to you." I cried from sheer happiness as I had regretted my decision from the moment I made it (though it was the correct one at the time). The point being, that even when the going gets tough, you never know how you will feel when that period is over. Look for other options, because termination is awfully final.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by CougADPi

I did. I went inactive then turned in all my things with letters on them and was told I was going to be terminated. Like I said, I had personal issues at the time, and it was probably the hardest period of my life (I'm tearing up just thinking about it). I don't know why I was never terminated. Maybe it fell through the cracks. Maybe they knew eventually I would want to be active again. All I know is that my little D held on to my badge and a couple years later mailed it back to me with a note that said, "This still belongs to you." I cried from sheer happiness as I had regretted my decision from the moment I made it (though it was the correct one at the time). The point being, that even when the going gets tough, you never know how you will feel when that period is over. Look for other options, because termination is awfully final.

This is touching. The power of growth and forgiveness through life's struggles.

For Delta that probably wouldn't have slipped through the cracks (there are things that slip through the cracks but depledging members tends not to be one of them even if it takes a long time to finalize). And, rightfully, Sorors wouldn't let you (in general) forget that you wanted to depledge. That is another reason why this varies based on organization.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by CougADPi

monster, I recommend talking to your HQ and seeing what they say. There may be other options other than deactivation/termination.

Like I said, I think the point is that he wants to join a different fraternity.