2nd hand Recruitment Story at U of Arkansas

[MomofPNM11]

My phone rang at exactly 7:30am Arkansas time. My heart sunk because Lindsey shouldn't have access to her phone unless she was released. She sounded shaky and then started crying. She got invited back to three chapters out of a possible four. Her schedule for House Tours is Risky Businesstoday; Ferris Bueller’s Day OffandWeird Sciencetomorrow.She got to go back to her dorm and use her phone because her party today is later in the afternoon, which is a huge blessing considering how upset she was.

So why was she crying? When people say recruitment is a roller coaster ride, they aren’t kidding! She had been so pleasantly surprised by all the great groups who had invited her to the second round. Now reality had set in and she realized she wasn’t the only one choosing. I tried to convince her that there are so many possible reasons she was cut other than that the girls “didn’t like her.” Those more selective groups could have tons of legacies, friends from high school, class presidents, cheerleading captains, girls with high GPA’s (Lindsey’s is only mediocre), etc. But try telling that to an eighteen year old who just had her heart ripped out.

When I asked her why she isn’t excited that her number one choice, Risky Business, had invited her back she said, “Because now I’m sure that they are just going to cut me too.” Logic, anybody? She is afraid to risk more hope on a process that she realizes she doesn’t have too much control over. I begged her to take the risk and not drop out. After she cried some more while I kept trying to focus on the good news, she agreed to stay with it for now.

The biggest negative for Lindsey is that after House Tours she will have to wait seven long days to find out if she got invited to Pref. She said she’s worried about being distracted in class all week and not sleeping. I really don’t like Arkansas’ schedule. I haven’t heard of other two week recruitment periods. Are there a lot of schools who do it this way?

I repeated all the great GC advice I had read: Keep an open mind. You are only half way through the four rounds. The two groups you don’t think you like could really shine during House Tours and Pref. You may meet some different girls that give you a whole new perspective. Do you really think out of three to four hundred girls in any sorority that you couldn’t find three to five best friends?

I expect some negative comments from GCers regarding my daughter’s reaction. Is she being a spoiled baby who wanted a perfect rush? Yes! Is she being ungrateful for what she has, which is an almost full schedule with three great groups left on it? Yes! Please remember, she is tired, stressed, far away from her family for the first time, and lacks perspective due in part to being only eighteen years old. Please pray for her and that after the nap she was about to take, she will have a whole new attitude. Thank you!

[33girl]

There are schools who have two week rush periods but most of them are 1) not SEC competitiveness level 2) you don't have to wait for a week to find out your invites for the next round.

I think they're trying to make it so women don't drop out of the school if they don't get a bid since that did happen when all of rush took place prior to classes. It is a good idea in theory, but the actual execution is somewhat less than stellar IMO.

ps: If she was spoiled, she wouldn't have listed the top sorority at the bottom of her list. Although you can also remind her that having 3 groups left out of 8 makes her, simply by math, more awesome than some of her HS friends who rush at Bama and Auburn, are in the same stage of rush, and have 3 groups left out of 17!! Yes I know this is not exact math but it sounds good.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Originally Posted by MomofPNM11

I expect some negative comments from GCers regarding my daughter’s reaction. Is she being a spoiled baby who wanted a perfect rush? Yes! Is she being ungrateful for what she has, which is an almost full schedule with three great groups left on it? Yes! Please remember, she is tired, stressed, far away from her family for the first time, and lacks perspective due in part to being only eighteen years old. Please pray for her and that after the nap she was about to take, she will have a whole new attitude. Thank you!

Someone once told me you can't control your feelings, but you can control your words and actions. She was upset and spoke to you about it (an outsider, and in confidence). Then she picked herself up and moved on. Assuming she a) continues with rush and b) doesn't go bashing her remaining choices, she is not being a spoiled baby. She is being a regular 18-year-old, who is perhaps learning a lesson in this whole thing, and will hopefully find her home.

[AXOmom]

"When I asked her why she isn’t excited that her number one choice, Risky Business, had invited her back she said, “Because now I’m sure that they are just going to cut me too.” Logic, anybody? She is afraid to risk more hope on a process that she realizes she doesn’t have too much control over. I begged her to take the risk and not drop out. After she cried some more while I kept trying to focus on the good news, she agreed to stay with it for now.......


.....I expect some negative comments from GCers regarding my daughter’s reaction. Is she being a spoiled baby who wanted a perfect rush? Yes! Is she being ungrateful for what she has, which is an almost full schedule with three great groups left on it? Yes! Please remember, she is tired, stressed, far away from her family for the first time, and lacks perspective due in part to being only eighteen years old. Please pray for her and that after the nap she was about to take, she will have a whole new attitude. Thank you!"



My daughter gave me permission to write her rush story and put in on here after she finishes college, so I have it all written out and ready to go (impatiently waiting). Both of these paragraphs - the first one virtually word for word - are in it. They don't make sense when they're tired, stressed, and young (heck, I don't make sense when I'm tired, stressed and old) and it is what it is. It sounds like you are doing a great job walking her through it and encouraging her. Sometimes all the mom can do is listen. Best of luck to your daughter and you the next two days!

[Regina.George]

Originally Posted by MomofPNM11

My phone rang at exactly 7:30am Arkansas time. My heart sunk because Lindsey shouldn't have access to her phone unless she was released. She sounded shaky and then started crying. She got invited back to three chapters out of a possible four. Her schedule for House Tours is Risky Businesstoday; Ferris Bueller’s Day OffandWeird Sciencetomorrow.She got to go back to her dorm and use her phone because her party today is later in the afternoon, which is a huge blessing considering how upset she was.

So why was she crying? When people say recruitment is a roller coaster ride, they aren’t kidding! She had been so pleasantly surprised by all the great groups who had invited her to the second round. Now reality had set in and she realized she wasn’t the only one choosing. I tried to convince her that there are so many possible reasons she was cut other than that the girls “didn’t like her.” Those more selective groups could have tons of legacies, friends from high school, class presidents, cheerleading captains, girls with high GPA’s (Lindsey’s is only mediocre), etc. But try telling that to an eighteen year old who just had her heart ripped out.

When I asked her why she isn’t excited that her number one choice, Risky Business, had invited her back she said, “Because now I’m sure that they are just going to cut me too.” Logic, anybody? She is afraid to risk more hope on a process that she realizes she doesn’t have too much control over. I begged her to take the risk and not drop out. After she cried some more while I kept trying to focus on the good news, she agreed to stay with it for now.

The biggest negative for Lindsey is that after House Tours she will have to wait seven long days to find out if she got invited to Pref. She said she’s worried about being distracted in class all week and not sleeping. I really don’t like Arkansas’ schedule. I haven’t heard of other two week recruitment periods. Are there a lot of schools who do it this way?

I repeated all the great GC advice I had read: Keep an open mind. You are only half way through the four rounds. The two groups you don’t think you like could really shine during House Tours and Pref. You may meet some different girls that give you a whole new perspective. Do you really think out of three to four hundred girls in any sorority that you couldn’t find three to five best friends?

I expect some negative comments from GCers regarding my daughter’s reaction. Is she being a spoiled baby who wanted a perfect rush? Yes! Is she being ungrateful for what she has, which is an almost full schedule with three great groups left on it? Yes! Please remember, she is tired, stressed, far away from her family for the first time, and lacks perspective due in part to being only eighteen years old. Please pray for her and that after the nap she was about to take, she will have a whole new attitude. Thank you!

qfp