Tossing Out Bids

[carnation]

I believe in maximizing options to a point but I loathe forcing women to go to prefs they don't want to attend and then penalizing them if they don't list them. By the time a PNM gets to prefs, she should have a feel for a group or not (I think I started a thread on forced prefs a few years back).

Forced prefs can also hurt sororities; they can have full pref parties because of that and then end up with few to no new members. I can't imagine the shock of a recruitment chair who had full pref parties and then receives an empty new member list.

Each girl knows how far she can "stretch". If she gets her second or third choice and thinks maybe it's do-able even though her heart is broken, she could try it. If she gets a bid that's a no-way, like in the thread we had on bids that people sometimes get from a sorority they haven't seen in 3 rounds, the no one should be dumping on her for turning it down.

PNMs: try to be open but you know where your limits are.

[crescent&pearls]

Originally Posted by carnation

I believe in maximizing options to a point but I loathe forcing women to go to prefs they don't want to attend and then penalizing them if they don't list them.

What would be the alternative? A pref party is just like every other recruitment event- it's a chance to be introduced to the sorority members and to introduce yourself. You are just getting a chance to get to know them a little better. Yes it's more formal and serious. Attending the party is not making a commitment to list that group on your pref card or initiate.

The "penalty" if that's what you want to call it (I'd call it potential consequence) is that if a PNM lists a group on he pref card, she may potentially get a bid from that group, and if she turns it down, she can not participate in recruitment for one year. A PNM is not going to get a bid from a group she has not seen in 3 rounds unless she lists that group. That would be a very unusual circumstance.

"stupid" might be a harsh way of describing someone who turns down a bid. Even if a PNM is going through recruitment at a school with 15 or more chapters she has only spent a few hours max at recruitment parties. To turn down a bid is just shortsighted and that's why I used the word twit. Give it a chance. If you listed them on your pref card and you can't pursue membership elsewhere for a full year, what do you have to lose? Nothing but the chance to have letters and sisters for life. Isn't that why you signed up in the first place?

[carnation]

Originally Posted by crescent&pearls

A PNM is not going to get a bid from a group she has not seen in 3 rounds unless she lists that group. That would be a very unusual circumstance.

I wish it were but several of us have seen that happen--check the thread about "Getting a Bid Someplace that You Didn't Pref"--many times. It's got to be a bad surprise to go to prefs at sororities A and B and end up with a bid from C, whose parties you haven't attended since the first day. Apparently, this happens for several reasons but rather than recount them all, I'm just referring you to the thread.

[crescent&pearls]

Originally Posted by carnation

I wish it were but several of us have seen that happen--check the thread about "Getting a Bid Someplace that You Didn't Pref"--many times. It's got to be a bad surprise to go to prefs at sororities A and B and end up with a bid from C, whose parties you haven't attended since the first day. Apparently, this happens for several reasons but rather than recount them all, I'm just referring you to the thread.

Many times? Really? That's such an unusual circumstance that the only way I could possibly see that happening is a chapter offering a 'snap bid" to someone they have not seen since the OH round. I'm sure some chapters do that but a far more likely scenario would be that a PNM who dropped out without having signed a pref card, and is therefore eligible for COR, gets an invitation to attend a chapter activity that is also an informal recruitment event.

One of my closest sisters attended XY and DEF on Pref night, then decided after attending the parties she did not want a bid from DEF, so she listed XY and Gamma Phi. We were her second choice, and she was bummed for about five minutes, and then spent the last 30 years or so happily ever after. Had she ISP'd, she would have had nothing and with all chapters making quota and over total, would have had to wait a year to try again, and who knows if she would have gotten a bid a year later? That's the far more common scenario of getting a bid from a chapter you did not pref.