Wedding etiquette - Page 7

joliebelle · #91 07-07-2011, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

I typically spend $100 on a gift from my husband and me, but as a groomsman who is probably spending money on a tux, bachelor party, etc., $30-$50 gift would be good.

This is pretty much what we decided on doing

Now, where was the thread where we discussed honeymoon registries?

KSUViolet06 · #92 07-07-2011, 11:00 PM

^^^^Friends of my mom had a Target registry and a honeymoon registry. Guess what they didn't end up getting? lol.

joliebelle · #93 07-07-2011, 11:24 PM

Ha! An associate of mine from high school has a Target registry and a Sandals honeymoon registry...I'm guessing that they'll end up like your mom's friends lol

BetteDavisEyes · #94 07-07-2011, 11:25 PM

We aren't attending a family wedding in 3 weeks for various reasons including it's too far for me to travel due to my pregnancy, the bride & groom told us we were on their B-list & would only be invited if someone on the A-list backed out & finally, we just don't want to go.

I received an email from the bride & groom reminding us that though we weren't attending, they are still registered at 3 different stores so we can choose a gift to send them. WTH!?! Seriously?

Should I go ahead & send a gift? Or say screw you & ignore them? Yes they're family but we see them once every 4-5 years & they did not attend our wedding either.

Drolefille · #95 07-07-2011, 11:31 PM

^^ Send a nice card.

aephi alum · #96 07-07-2011, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

the bride & groom told us we were on their B-list & would only be invited if someone on the A-list backed out

If a couple flat out told my husband and me that we were on their B-list, I would tell them exactly where they could stick their B-list.

GeekyPenguin · #97 07-07-2011, 11:37 PM

Somebody I will soon be related to thinks that instead of inviting our coworkers (judges, other elected officials, and lawyers) to the ceremony and reception, we should just invite them down after dinner. WTF? This is the rudest thing I have heard, particularly since they all have to drive two hours to attend.

Gusteau · #98 07-07-2011, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

^^ Send a nice card.

I like this - taking the high road without rewarding bad behavior.

KSUViolet06 · #99 07-07-2011, 11:46 PM

I think the whole A/B list is a bit rude (I am sorry if you're a bride with a B list and you're offended.)

A smaller overall guest list > having a B-list.

If you don't think someone is important enough to get an invite unless someone else can't come, why invite them at all?

Also tacky: there's a new trend (among tacky people) to invite people (eg. people you don't know very well like your mom's co-workers) to the ceremony and NOT the reception.

I mean, why bother inviting these people in the first place if you are going to be tacky and rude like that?

The kicker: the couples still expect gifts from the ceremony-only people.

Stay classy.

VandalSquirrel · #**100** 07-08-2011, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BetteDavisEyes

We aren't attending a family wedding in 3 weeks for various reasons including it's too far for me to travel due to my pregnancy, the bride & groom told us we were on their B-list & would only be invited if someone on the A-list backed out & finally, we just don't want to go.

I received an email from the bride & groom reminding us that though we weren't attending, they are still registered at 3 different stores so we can choose a gift to send them. WTH!?! Seriously?

Should I go ahead & send a gift? Or say screw you & ignore them? Yes they're family but we see them once every 4-5 years & they did not attend our wedding either.

You could send them cards and personalized stamps to use for thank you notes, or http://www.amazon.com/Emily-Posts-Et...0099631&sr=1-1 or http://www.amazon.com/Amy-Vanderbilt...0098859&sr=8-4 I own the Amy Vanderbilt edition I posted as that was a gift for when I was becoming a young woman (about 13 and my social life changed with going to Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, Confirmations going on visits or trips without my parents and so on), but the Emily Post one I have is out of print but looks quite similar to the newest one.

Yes sending an etiquette book can be seen as rude, passive aggressive, and not the high road but it is possible they have no idea about etiquette and this gives them an opportunity to learn in private. Actually for some couples being given personalized stationary that has their married name printed on it may be a very touching and thoughtful gift, especially as paper is a traditional gift for a first anniversary.

I am also

with KSUViolet and aephialum on informing people they are on a B-List, and wouldn't personally have one, but you sure as hell don't tell people they are on it.

AlwaysSAI · #**101** 07-08-2011, 06:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I think the whole A/B list is a bit rude (I am sorry if you're a bride with a B list and you're offended.)

A smaller overall guest list > having a B-list.

If you don't think someone is important enough to get an invite unless someone else can't come, why invite them at all?

Also tacky: there's a new trend (among tacky people) to invite people (eg. people you don't know very well like your mom's co-workers) to the ceremony and NOT the reception.

I mean, why bother inviting these people in the first place if you are going to be tacky and rude like that?

The kicker: the couples still expect gifts from the ceremony-only people.

Stay classy.

It just deserved to be said again.

And, also, a B list? Really? I've never heard of it and definitely will not be doing it (after I get engaged, of course).

AGDee · #**102** 07-08-2011, 06:54 AM

I had a co-worker who was a really good work friend but we hadn't done anything together outside of work. She had a pretty small guest list and, the week before the wedding, she approached me at work and said "We have a few open slots and I understand if you say no but I would love it if you could be there." She invited about 5 of us from work and we all went together. I wasn't offended at all because I knew she was trying to keep costs down and she was very gracious in her approach. I knew she wasn't just looking for gifts because that isn't her style.

SWTXBelle · #**103** 07-08-2011, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

^^ Send a nice card.

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

indygphib · #**104** 07-08-2011, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

That is AWESOME!

FleurGirl · #**105** 07-08-2011, 07:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Also tacky: there's a new trend (among tacky people) to invite people (eg. people you don't know very well like your mom's co-workers) to the ceremony and NOT the reception.

I mean, why bother inviting these people in the first place if you are going to be tacky and rude like that?

The kicker: the couples still expect gifts from the ceremony-only people.

Stay classy.

Sometimes there's a reason for that. When I was in kindergarten my teacher got married at the end of the year, and all the kids and their parents were invited to the ceremony only. In that case I can understand not wanting 30 six-year-olds and between 30 and 60 parents you didn't know at the reception.

If it's a budget-only thing though... taaaacky.