Wedding etiquette

[SWTXBelle]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

^^ Send a nice card.

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

[indygphib]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

That is AWESOME!

[BetteDavisEyes]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

LOVE IT!

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

LOL not at all, it's only DOING it that means you have no right to complain about their faux pas

[33girl]

Re the whole B-list thing, a former coworker sent an email along the lines of this to a bunch of us at work A WEEK before the wedding.

Bill and I have not had the response from our friends and family that we had anticipated to attend our wedding. We realize this is short notice but would like for you to share our special day with us. The wedding is at _____ , and reception is at _____ . We hope to see you there.

I think it would have been a little less offensive if she had said "we obviously do not expect a gift from you." But the thing is...they were obviously doing this because they sank all this $$ into a wedding and their ROI was going to suck because no one wanted to come to it.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Re the whole B-list thing, a former coworker sent an email along the lines of this to a bunch of us at work A WEEK before the wedding.

Bill and I have not had the response from our friends and family that we had anticipated to attend our wedding. We realize this is short notice but would like for you to share our special day with us. The wedding is at _____ , and reception is at _____ . We hope to see you there.

I think it would have been a little less offensive if she had said "we obviously do not expect a gift from you." But the thing is...they were obviously doing this because they sank all this $$ into a wedding and their ROI was going to suck because no one wanted to come to it.

I got something like this a few years ago. I don't like the bride to begin with (don't know the groom but he's pretty trashy as well), and they did it because they were getting fewer attendees than they had guaranteed with the caterer. This couple also had a honeymoon registry.

The B-list doesn't bother me if it's done discreetly and done in enough time that it doesn't look like a B-list.

[lovespink88]

Am I the only one that thinks that the the B-list thing isn't the worst thing in the world? I can imagine it working ONLY in certain situations:

1) You DO NOT tell some one they are on the B-list.
2) You really do want someone to attend, but maybe due to size restrictions/finances you just can't invite them. I know, I know, don't have a big expensive wedding if you can't afford it and don't pick a small venue if you want a big wedding. But I would imagine there has got to be SOME instances of a couple planning modest wedding that just can't invite everyone they'd like too...right?
3) Don't invite just because you want gifts.

Disclaimer: No, I don't have a B-list. My dad's family is gigantic (50 first cousins & their families...tons of aunts and uncles...my parent's wedding was 350 people!) and we had to cut out a lot of people. Yes, they are "only cousins", but for how many there are, we actually do see most of them pretty often, so it was a tough decision. There's no WAY we could do a B-list because if we invite so and so, then we HAVE to invite so and so. It just never ends so we decided to be very firm with who we are inviting.

I will agree though that the past few examples of B-lists shared in this thread are VERY rude!

Originally Posted by SWTXBelle

Is it wrong that I imagined writing in the card - "You are on our B-list for gifts. If anyone on our A-list refuses his/her gift, I'll send it to you!".

SO MUCH AWESOME!

[joliebelle]

I personally don't think that there's anything inherently tacky/wrong about having a B-list. I do think that it's tacky to tell B-list guests that they were, in fact, on the B-list. That usually reeks of "you're not good enough to get a first round invite to our wedding, but good enough to buy us something."