Greek life virgin! Would this be weird? Desperate for help!

[DTD Alum]

Originally Posted by 33girl

No. It wouldn't. If anything, it would be even MORE creepy.

If chapters in that situation are open to truly random people that they have zero connection with, they usually make a group on Facebook or something. At least, now in the days when you can't have open parties, that's what they do.

I don't know, at least based on my experience I disagree. When I was in college my group had moderate rushing strength, we weren't the best and we weren't the worst. We were prepared that we had to do more digging to find a pledge class we were really happy with more so than my best friend's chapter, which was arguably the top. They pretty much knew who they wanted to pledge and were only moderately interested in looking at guys they hadn't considered. We were more open to looking at guys we didn't know, and also more open to utilizing connections that were less tenuous. We had to do more work but always ended up finding 20-30 guys we were extremely excited about.

So if somebody had contacted me with such a tentative connection (and IF it wasn't completely creepy), I'd have at least invited him out to a couple things right before rush and see how it went. We'd make a decision pretty naturally on if we'd want him or not. If it went badly, we'd cut him, and if it went well we'd keep him. This happened several times where we'd have said, "Hey, this guy is from my high school, let's see how he is and if he fits in we can use that connection to our advantage." My friend's group, which like I said was probably the most competitive on campus, would only care if the connection was extremely strong because they knew they could get 20-30 great guys from that alone.

Perhaps this only applies to fraternity rush 33girl, but in my experience since you aren't just competing to get the guys you actively rush but are also competing to get guys in the door in the first place, you definitely try to make the most of any connection you can get to make sure those guys come through the door. Then it's about picking the ones you want. The truly competitive chapters didn't do that because they could rest on their laurels and only focus on 30-40 top guys and then get a pledge class of 25-30. Of course, at times that laissez faire attitude backfired for them.

So I stand by my statement, and I think most guys who have gone through fraternity rush would echo it.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DTD Alum

So if somebody had contacted me with such a tentative connection (and IF it wasn't completely creepy), I'd have at least invited him out to a couple things right before rush and see how it went.

This isn't what the OP originally proposed.

He was going to contact a dude he said he had NO connection with, other than having gone to the same prep school several years apart, apparently had no friends in common with, and ask him about fraternity rush. That's creepy and stalkery, regardless of where your fraternity falls in the social pecking order and regardless of how desperate they are for guys. Not until well in the thread did he mention he had some mutual friends with the guy in question.

The thing that scares me most is that he didn't think of asking the mutual friends to talk to their friend FIRST. The first thing he thought of was random contact on facebook. Is this generation really that socially inept?