So Many Questions

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by JadeScrambled

I don't know guys. I'm trying to keep my hopes up. You're not helping with that lol. I was kind of hoping that there was a way to meet with someone so that I could get a rec that's not info only. I realize that neither of you know me, but if you have any better ideas that would be appreciated. I was just thinking that it couldn't hurt to try.

You came on here to ask for help, sweetie. We're not telling you that there's no hope, we're telling you that you're going to have to put in some effort to have a successful sophomore recruitment. You're going to need to get recs, depending on the school. See the "schools where you absolutely positively need recs" thread for further information. You're going to have to have your appearance and conversation skills polished. You're going to have to keep an open mind, which can be hard after a year of hearing about tiers and reputations. I went through recruitment as a sophomore and ended up with a happy ending, and I think that you can, too.

I went back and re-read through your recruitment story. I think the fact that you didn't have recs (depending on the school) could have been a major factor in your unsuccessful recruitment. It also seems like you were mostly looking at the shallow aspects of being in a sorority. You need to re-evaluate what you're looking to get out of your sorority membership and be able to articulate that in a conversation. You'll know the sorts of questions rushers will ask and how to better answer them. It always makes a positive impression when a rushee knows how to articulate what she wants out of a sorority.

It might be awkward when you go back to the house you declined to join. A sister might recognize you from last year, and they are bound to ask why you're going through recruitment a second time. Be prepared to answer honestly, but diplomatically. Maybe you'll have a different opinion of them this time. A year is a long time to re-evaluate what you're looking for in a sorority.

I know this might be hard, but try your very best to go into recruitment with an open heart. If you're not going to settle for anything less then a bid to XYZ or ABC, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Basically, get your recommendations in line, and put your best foot forward when it comes to appearance and conversation skills and, hopefully, you'll get a happy ending. Best of luck to you

[JadeScrambled]

Originally Posted by victoriana

You came on here to ask for help, sweetie. We're not telling you that there's no hope, we're telling you that you're going to have to put in some effort to have a successful sophomore recruitment. You're going to need to get recs, depending on the school. See the "schools where you absolutely positively need recs" thread for further information. You're going to have to have your appearance and conversation skills polished. You're going to have to keep an open mind, which can be hard after a year of hearing about tiers and reputations. I went through recruitment as a sophomore and ended up with a happy ending, and I think that you can, too.

I went back and re-read through your recruitment story. I think the fact that you didn't have recs (depending on the school) could have been a major factor in your unsuccessful recruitment. It also seems like you were mostly looking at the shallow aspects of being in a sorority. You need to re-evaluate what you're looking to get out of your sorority membership and be able to articulate that in a conversation. You'll know the sorts of questions rushers will ask and how to better answer them. It always makes a positive impression when a rushee knows how to articulate what she wants out of a sorority.

It might be awkward when you go back to the house you declined to join. A sister might recognize you from last year, and they are bound to ask why you're going through recruitment a second time. Be prepared to answer honestly, but diplomatically. Maybe you'll have a different opinion of them this time. A year is a long time to re-evaluate what you're looking for in a sorority.

I know this might be hard, but try your very best to go into recruitment with an open heart. If you're not going to settle for anything less then a bid to XYZ or ABC, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Basically, get your recommendations in line, and put your best foot forward when it comes to appearance and conversation skills and, hopefully, you'll get a happy ending. Best of luck to you

Yes, I did come here for help and I'm very glad that i'm getting some. It's good to know that you had a successful sophomore recruitment! Did you write about it on here?

I don't mean to come across as thinking in a shallow way. Last year when I decided to decline my bid it wasn't because the sorority wansn't "top-tier" or whatever. What bugged me was that the girls seemed so jealous of the other sororities to the point that they were putting them down. I wanted to be a part of a group where it was focused on us and what we were doing verses trying to make ourselves think that we are better than others. If the members couldn't get through bid night without bitter comments then I certainly didn't want to see what the next 4 years would be like. I'm not saying that my disappointment at not getting in to my favorite groups didn't play a part in this decision either. It probably had something to do with it, I was upset. It's hard not to take it personally and wonder what I did wrong.

I will be sure to come up with a clear response of what I want out of a sorority. My experience from last year makes this easier. And yeah, I'm sure visiting that house will be awkward. To make matters worse I know a few people in that house that weren't aware that I was almost a member. It's beside the point, but they have nothing good to say about the way the older members treat them.

I certainly plan on going into this with an open heart. I don't think the house I recieved a bid to would take me again, so my main worry is not getting a bid anywhere.

Gosh this reply is so long (and half of it is probably unnecessary I like to talk...) But thank you so much for your advice!

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by JadeScrambled

It's good to know that you had a successful sophomore recruitment! Did you write about it on here?

Yes, I sure did! It was a very... interesting experience. If you have any questions about the awkwardness factor (which I experienced) and how to handle it, feel free to PM me.