So Many Questions

[AnotherKD]

You already declined a bid last year. What makes you think this year you will have a better outcome?

[JadeScrambled]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

What about you has changed to make you more attractive to the other sororities since you declined your last bid? An info-only rec from a stranger isn't going to be the thing that makes the sororities look at you differently this time around.

Originally Posted by AnotherKD

You already declined a bid last year. What makes you think this year you will have a better outcome?

I don't know guys. I'm trying to keep my hopes up. You're not helping with that lol. I was kind of hoping that there was a way to meet with someone so that I could get a rec that's not info only. I realize that neither of you know me, but if you have any better ideas that would be appreciated. I was just thinking that it couldn't hurt to try.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by JadeScrambled

I don't know guys. I'm trying to keep my hopes up. You're not helping with that lol. I was kind of hoping that there was a way to meet with someone so that I could get a rec that's not info only. I realize that neither of you know me, but if you have any better ideas that would be appreciated. I was just thinking that it couldn't hurt to try.

We're not trying to be discouraging meanies, we're just trying to give you realistic expectations.

Even if you meet with someone, it will still be an info-only rec. That person doesn't know you like someone who has been involved with your life would. Any rec may help keep you with some chapters for an extra round, depending on the school, individual chapters etc. but it will not be something that will change things significantly on its own.

Do you have a superb GPA now? Have you formed real and meaningful friendships with sorority women? Have you been ultra involved in campus since your last recruitment? Have you significantly improved your appearance or conversation skills if those were lacking last time? These are the things that can possibly impact your re-rushing experience as a sophomore.

[JadeScrambled]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

We're not trying to be discouraging meanies, we're just trying to give you realistic expectations.

Even if you meet with someone, it will still be an info-only rec. That person doesn't know you like someone who has been involved with your life would. Any rec may help keep you with some chapters for an extra round, depending on the school, individual chapters etc. but it will not be something that will change things significantly on its own.

Do you have a superb GPA now? Have you formed real and meaningful friendships with sorority women? Have you been ultra involved in campus since your last recruitment? Have you significantly improved your appearance or conversation skills if those were lacking last time? These are the things that can possibly impact your re-rushing experience as a sophomore.

It's the internet. You can be a discouraging meanie if you want . Kidding, I really do appreciate the help.

I suppose even if a info rec letter will help a little I should try it. My gpa is great but it was last year as well. I am friends with a few sorority women, but its a large school so i'm not sure if that can help me at all. I feel more confident around new people now after going to a MUCH bigger school than my high school, maybe that will help. My appearence has changed a little, whether it's good or bad i'm not sure. Oh and another thing is that there is a new sorority at my campus this year and I'm hoping that I could have a better chance there.

Thanks!

[ChioLu]

At some schools (UCLA for example), if a sophomore goes thru Recruitment again, after declining a bid freshman year, Panhellenic gives the PNM the choice of whether or not to attend the party of the chapter they turned down. Saves the potential for awkwardness and stress.

Go thru Recruitment (get those Rec's, create a Rush Resume, practice your convo skills) and if the outcome isn't what you hoped for, then a colonizing chapter may be a great place for you to shine and be a part of a new & exciting chapter!

[JadeScrambled]

Originally Posted by ChioLu

At some schools (UCLA for example), if a sophomore goes thru Recruitment again, after declining a bid freshman year, Panhellenic gives the PNM the choice of whether or not to attend the party of the chapter they turned down. Saves the potential for awkwardness and stress.

Go thru Recruitment (get those Rec's, create a Rush Resume, practice your convo skills) and if the outcome isn't what you hoped for, then a colonizing chapter may be a great place for you to shine and be a part of a new & exciting chapter!

That would be a smart idea on the schools part! And the chapter is actually already colonized, they did it right after recruitment last year. I just couldn't participate in that because I recieved a bid to a house during recruitment. But I would love the idea of being a part of a group that is still new and working out how they do things!

[AZTheta]

Originally Posted by ChioLu

At some schools (UCLA for example), if a sophomore goes thru Recruitment again, after declining a bid freshman year, Panhellenic gives the PNM the choice of whether or not to attend the party of the chapter they turned down. Saves the potential for awkwardness and stress.

Go thru Recruitment (get those Rec's, create a Rush Resume, practice your convo skills) and if the outcome isn't what you hoped for, then a colonizing chapter may be a great place for you to shine and be a part of a new & exciting chapter!

I know you mean well (and I am NOT being condescending, so don't take umbrage), and you're relatively new to GC; you possibly haven't seen or read previous discussions about failed recruitments and colonies. Generally speaking it is unwise to hold out the hope of a colonizing chapter to PNMs as a "consolation prize" or another chance if formal recruitment (for this OP, the second time through) doesn't work out the way the PNM wanted it to. Last fall there were at least two PNMs who posted about their unsuccessful recruitments AND their subsequent unsuccessful attempts to join colonies.

Colonies are seeking the very best members in order to be competitive with established chapters as soon as possible. Often those qualities that the PNMs presented in formal recruitment with established chapters will also exclude them from a colony.

[ChioLu]

No, it was meant for PNM's to keep an open mind and not close doors prematurely. A colony is not a consolation prize. It can be an opportunity. Obviously, to explore a colonizing group, it would have to be after Formal Rush.

I know several women who went thru formal Recruitment, didn't feel connected to the final choices that were available, then joined a colonizing sorority. They were able to make an impact quickly in the new organization by having leadership roles that may not have been available as early with an established house.

Even though I'm a new poster (lurked for awhile), it doesn't mean I lack background on this topic. Actually, I've been an Advisor at two universities (18 yrs exp) where colonization has taken place and went to a university when a new sorority colonized (& 6 of my friends joined the new group -- all as sophomores who had previously gone thru Formal Rush). Just because some PNM's didn't have a good experience on joining a colony after not pledging in FR, doesn't mean everyone will.

And not taking umbrage, as I'm well aware that upperclassmen have more of a challenge and am not trying to give anyone false hope, but if a PNM makes improvements (grades, activities, rec's, Greek contacts, etc.) for the 2nd time around, it would be unfair to give them NO hope.

Though, as the OP has now stated, the new house colonized last year and will be in Formal Recruitment this fall, so it doesn't apply in her case.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by JadeScrambled

I don't know guys. I'm trying to keep my hopes up. You're not helping with that lol. I was kind of hoping that there was a way to meet with someone so that I could get a rec that's not info only. I realize that neither of you know me, but if you have any better ideas that would be appreciated. I was just thinking that it couldn't hurt to try.

You came on here to ask for help, sweetie. We're not telling you that there's no hope, we're telling you that you're going to have to put in some effort to have a successful sophomore recruitment. You're going to need to get recs, depending on the school. See the "schools where you absolutely positively need recs" thread for further information. You're going to have to have your appearance and conversation skills polished. You're going to have to keep an open mind, which can be hard after a year of hearing about tiers and reputations. I went through recruitment as a sophomore and ended up with a happy ending, and I think that you can, too.

I went back and re-read through your recruitment story. I think the fact that you didn't have recs (depending on the school) could have been a major factor in your unsuccessful recruitment. It also seems like you were mostly looking at the shallow aspects of being in a sorority. You need to re-evaluate what you're looking to get out of your sorority membership and be able to articulate that in a conversation. You'll know the sorts of questions rushers will ask and how to better answer them. It always makes a positive impression when a rushee knows how to articulate what she wants out of a sorority.

It might be awkward when you go back to the house you declined to join. A sister might recognize you from last year, and they are bound to ask why you're going through recruitment a second time. Be prepared to answer honestly, but diplomatically. Maybe you'll have a different opinion of them this time. A year is a long time to re-evaluate what you're looking for in a sorority.

I know this might be hard, but try your very best to go into recruitment with an open heart. If you're not going to settle for anything less then a bid to XYZ or ABC, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Basically, get your recommendations in line, and put your best foot forward when it comes to appearance and conversation skills and, hopefully, you'll get a happy ending. Best of luck to you

[JadeScrambled]

Originally Posted by victoriana

You came on here to ask for help, sweetie. We're not telling you that there's no hope, we're telling you that you're going to have to put in some effort to have a successful sophomore recruitment. You're going to need to get recs, depending on the school. See the "schools where you absolutely positively need recs" thread for further information. You're going to have to have your appearance and conversation skills polished. You're going to have to keep an open mind, which can be hard after a year of hearing about tiers and reputations. I went through recruitment as a sophomore and ended up with a happy ending, and I think that you can, too.

I went back and re-read through your recruitment story. I think the fact that you didn't have recs (depending on the school) could have been a major factor in your unsuccessful recruitment. It also seems like you were mostly looking at the shallow aspects of being in a sorority. You need to re-evaluate what you're looking to get out of your sorority membership and be able to articulate that in a conversation. You'll know the sorts of questions rushers will ask and how to better answer them. It always makes a positive impression when a rushee knows how to articulate what she wants out of a sorority.

It might be awkward when you go back to the house you declined to join. A sister might recognize you from last year, and they are bound to ask why you're going through recruitment a second time. Be prepared to answer honestly, but diplomatically. Maybe you'll have a different opinion of them this time. A year is a long time to re-evaluate what you're looking for in a sorority.

I know this might be hard, but try your very best to go into recruitment with an open heart. If you're not going to settle for anything less then a bid to XYZ or ABC, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Basically, get your recommendations in line, and put your best foot forward when it comes to appearance and conversation skills and, hopefully, you'll get a happy ending. Best of luck to you

Yes, I did come here for help and I'm very glad that i'm getting some. It's good to know that you had a successful sophomore recruitment! Did you write about it on here?

I don't mean to come across as thinking in a shallow way. Last year when I decided to decline my bid it wasn't because the sorority wansn't "top-tier" or whatever. What bugged me was that the girls seemed so jealous of the other sororities to the point that they were putting them down. I wanted to be a part of a group where it was focused on us and what we were doing verses trying to make ourselves think that we are better than others. If the members couldn't get through bid night without bitter comments then I certainly didn't want to see what the next 4 years would be like. I'm not saying that my disappointment at not getting in to my favorite groups didn't play a part in this decision either. It probably had something to do with it, I was upset. It's hard not to take it personally and wonder what I did wrong.

I will be sure to come up with a clear response of what I want out of a sorority. My experience from last year makes this easier. And yeah, I'm sure visiting that house will be awkward. To make matters worse I know a few people in that house that weren't aware that I was almost a member. It's beside the point, but they have nothing good to say about the way the older members treat them.

I certainly plan on going into this with an open heart. I don't think the house I recieved a bid to would take me again, so my main worry is not getting a bid anywhere.

Gosh this reply is so long (and half of it is probably unnecessary I like to talk...) But thank you so much for your advice!

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by JadeScrambled

It's good to know that you had a successful sophomore recruitment! Did you write about it on here?

Yes, I sure did! It was a very... interesting experience. If you have any questions about the awkwardness factor (which I experienced) and how to handle it, feel free to PM me.