Moving in with BF! I need advice.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

Geez. Apparently, I cannot make a post on here about any subject without getting ripped a new one because someone disagrees with me. Regardless, I've posted what I believe and will stand by it. And, while I'm at it, I'll respond to one last thing...

cool, just stop speaking for "We" and only speak for "I" thank you very much.

DROLEFILLE - you mention that I only spoke of what the woman would give to the man (in the convo about 'saving' something special for him and ONLY him), but that I didn't make mention that he would have to give her ANYTHING...and seemed bothered by that.

I'm not bothered at all, I just think you're participating in the sexism inherent in our culture.

Well, I'll offer 2 points:
1. I am not a man, and was speaking from a woman's point of view.

You're not? Huh, news to me. Anyway, that's nice, but you didn't seem to expect being offered anything special for you and only you either.

2. When a man marries a women, he offers his name (surname) to her - which states to the whole world that he wants to be known as her husband. I think that's a pretty big deal.

Or he erases her father's last name and replaces it with his own symbolically passing ownership of the chattel that is now his.

No, that's not really what modern people feel about the issue but it is a valid interpretation. I'm amused that moving in with the man is what the woman can offer in exchange for his name. At least you're not insisting on her offering her virginity. At least. Or something.

But you know kids these days, I'm amused you dropped that line altogether.

Originally Posted by GreekGirley

Discussion is fine. Ragging on a belief system is not.

So why are you ragging on other people's relationships then, or is it only OK if you judge them (and the kids these days) but not OK if you're judged.

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Serious question: What if she decides not to take his last name and instead keeps her own surname? Is she stating to the whole world that she doesn't want to be known as his wife?

Duh.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If you are paying attention, most of the people typing to you are not fans of cohabitation.

I'm for it, if people want to do it. I don't see it as particularly harmful, nor do I see marriage as the ultimate goal of all relationships. But to each their own.

/i know you said most, just wanted to put that out there.

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. This thread is also about GreekGirley learning the history and different meanings behind women taking men's surnames. I respect people who choose to take their spouse's surnames. But, as for me and my house, it's all about hyphens.

I'm a big fan of hyphenated last names; couples swapping last names; and people keeping their own last name. None of those reduce the bonds of marriage just because they aren't considered traditional.

I'm kind of pondering what, if anything I'll do, but it depends on how things develop.