Moving in with BF! I need advice.

[AlphaFrog]

GreekGirley is really setting herself up to be a statistic...

If you go into marriage thinking it's this wonderful, magical, story book happening, you're going in with totally wrong expectations that your poor future husband will never live up to. He's not coming home from work every day on his white horse, regardless of whether he did so (and which address he went to) during the courtship/engagement. Even saying that the marriage should have something "special" tells me that you have an immature view of marriage. There is no magic in marriage. There is, however, plenty of work, hardship, sacrifice, tears, and heartache. The ones that survive are the people that accept it, and decide that sharing their life with someone they love is ultimately more important and worth it.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

GreekGirley is really setting herself up to be a statistic...

If you go into marriage thinking it's this wonderful, magical, story book happening, you're going in with totally wrong expectations that your poor future husband will never live up to. He's not coming home from work every day on his white horse, regardless of whether he did so (and which address he went to) during the courtship/engagement. Even saying that the marriage should have something "special" tells me that you have an immature view of marriage. There is no magic in marriage. There is, however, plenty of work, hardship, sacrifice, tears, and heartache. The ones that survive are the people that accept it, and decide that sharing their life with someone they love is ultimately more important and worth it.

So true. I have no fondness for "marriage." Divorce is a necessary evil that is no ones' business but the couple involved. I have a commitment to my husband that started before our marriage. The marriage made it official legally and makes it easier to buy property, etc. Did it change the level of commitment we already had? No. Do I work to keep our relationship strong because of a societal institution? No. I do it because I value my husband, his love and our lives together. The "marriage" is nothing but window dressing on the relationship beneath. The relationship has been going strong for 10 years, the marriage 8.