Rushing as a SENIOR in the Fall, informal recruitment. Advice?

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Then if that's the case, there should be a chapter bylaw that says "all members regardless of class standing must live in the house for x semesters." If Suzy Senior can't fulfill that, then don't give her a bid. But don't not give her a bid because of her class status. That can really put you on the hook if someone wants to say you're discriminating. I mean, Frieda Freshman might not be able to live in the house and do her part, so she shouldn't get a bid either.

Nothing is a "sure thing."

Class standing isn't a protected class when it comes to discrimination. There's nothing 'wrong' with it and the vast majority of chapters do it. Ideal world, it wouldn't happen, in a world of quotas and totals and beds, it does. Women don't get bids because they are seniors all the damn time. Some do get bids and that's awesome, but it happens all the time.

Stop acting like it's a shocking lawsuit waiting to happen.

[groovypq]

Originally Posted by 33girl

Seriously?

Pardon me being judgmental, but that's fucked up.

Yes. I don't have a problem with it, but I'm pretty sure (unless I misunderstood something) that someone higher up the chain has told them not to do that.

Now, I could be off - it could be because of numbers in a particular class. Our upcoming senior class, for example, is huge. We're going to take a big hit when they graduate, unless next spring's recruitment numbers are pretty major.

[SassyBlonde]

Barbie's Rush,

What's with the negative attitude? I am looking for a realistic honest response. I do not expect to be welcomed being a senior--obviously, that's why I am sincerely requesting advice! I feel like you see it as a big joke or pity me so I get a bid with your comment "Now I'm just waiting for the tale of your entire family being wiped out in a fiery accident and how your recovery from bubonic plague delayed your sorority dreams." There was no fiery accident obviously, but if you want to more of my personal problems that delayed feel free to ask. I just ask that you take it seriously and realize that I am seeking advice, not ridicule. I realize you could be a lot more harsh if you want to be, but I feel as if something has came across the wrong way.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by SassyBlonde

Barbie's Rush,

What's with the negative attitude? I am looking for a realistic honest response. I do not expect to be welcomed being a senior--obviously, that's why I am sincerely requesting advice! I feel like you see it as a big joke or pity me so I get a bid with your comment "Now I'm just waiting for the tale of your entire family being wiped out in a fiery accident and how your recovery from bubonic plague delayed your sorority dreams." There was no fiery accident obviously, but if you want to more of my personal problems that delayed feel free to ask. I just ask that you take it seriously and realize that I am seeking advice, not ridicule. I realize you could be a lot more harsh if you want to be, but I feel as if something has came across the wrong way.

It's not negative. It's realistic. I don't blow rainbows up every pony's ass. There's another site for that.

Everyone has given you the answer you were supposedly seeking. Yet you keep coming back with more "but...even if...but this happened previously...everyone says I should..." tales of woe that you think make you a special snowflake who we will immediately recognize as being the exception to the rule. We see people like you come here all the time, changing, editing and adding. Your answer is going to be the same. It gets tiresome.

I'm going to lay it out for you:

1) You are a senior with a limited "shelf life."

2) You already went through formal recruitment as a senior. EVERY sorority quickly dropped you except "Struggling Sigma." We don't know how that would have turned out since you weren't willing to give them the same chance they may have been willing to take on you.

3) Now "Struggling Sigma" doesn't look so bad. Because you'll take a bid from anyone now.

4) Nothing has changed for you since your last recruitment except for the fact that you're (hopefully) one semester closer to graduating.

5) Your chances are slimmer than they were during formal as even fewer new members are taken during informal/COB.

6) Sometimes members IRL say kind things "OMG you should totally rush again!," "It was only because we want freshmen during spring!" etc. only because they're trying not to hurt you or don't know what else to say. (Or think "Struggling Sigma" might actually offer you bid but their sorority certainly won't.)

7) Honestly, a lot of the reasons for wanting to join that you mentioned here sound a little creepy. I'm hoping it's just the way you're coming off online, but if you were coming off as all momsie in person you might seem like you don't fit in.

By all means, do go through whatever type of recruitment that's offered in the fall. You definitely won't get a bid anywhere if you don't try it again. (And don't be surprised if "Struggling Sigma" remembers you, and not for the right reasons. You should know that you may have burned that bridge.) But you also need to be honest with yourself. If being rejected again is going to kill your soul, you're probably better off looking into another club or revitalizing your non-collegiate sorority.

[KSUViolet06]

Also, if your chapter is already kind of "upperclassman heavy" (ex: you tend to pledge a lot of sophs and juniors,) it makes no sense to add to the heaviness by adding seniors who are going to graduate in a year. You tend to prefer to stick to sophs and freshmen to even things out.

The housing thing is important as well. If you're at a school where living-in isn't something that's super popular (ex: an "everybody lives-in sophomore or junior year" school), you'd be hard pressed to find a senior who is going to want to live-in.

Of course there are cases of seniors who will be around longer because they transfered, but that typically isn't the case.

Even if you don't have housing or are at liberty to consider pledging a senior (ex: you're at a small school or something where it doesn't matter), it's a real crapshoot (whether she's graduating in 2 years or within the next year.)

I've seen it happen where Suzy Senior plays the "I'm more mature, I'll be around after graduation, and have more to contribute" angle, then gets a bid and falls off the face of the Earth, citing "I'm a senior and have things to do/internship/etc. and it takes up too much time" or "I'd rather live with my boyfriend or in an apt with my friends" as the reason.

So I can totally see why chapters decide not to take them. It's a chapter by chapter thing.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^I've seen articles in a couple of different sorority magazines (ours, Tri Delta, KKG and another I can't recall) about the changing demographics of recruitment at many schools and discussing the fact that the average PNM at many schools isn't an 18-year-old freshman. It's something that many groups recognize.

[Drolefille]

LOL, you couldn't even try and make implications about my personal life? I'm so disappointed.

Enjoy your Nick at Nite reruns.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

LOL, you couldn't even try and make implications about my personal life? I'm so disappointed.

Enjoy your Nick at Nite reruns.

Are you seriously for real? The Odd Couple hasn't been on Nick At Nite for years - actually, I don't think it ever was. They seem content to fill their slots with dreck like Everybody Loves That Asshole Raymond (someone on here called it that once and I've never been able to call it anything else since).

Actually carnation, it's not the OP's fault this took a tangent. Her issues kind of got sidetracked and that's not fair. Maybe just split groovypq's post and the posts pertaining to it into another thread.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

carnation, can you please put this poor thread out of its misery.

[Drolefille]

^^ this is hardly a trainwreck, don't encourage thread locking and deletion. It is rarely used for the greater good.

[KSUViolet06]

Note: every sorority has different policies, but not every sorority allows graduate students to stay active.

So depending on the chapter, they may not want to waste a bid, knowing that you're only going to be active for what looks like ONE semester (unless I'm reading what you're saying wrong.)

I mean, logically speaking, if they have to choose between you and a freshman or soph, the odds are not in your favor.

Also, who has time to be an active NPC sorority collegian in graduate school? Even if a chapter were allowed to bid you, they might be hesitant because you may not have the time to devote to being active.

[SassyBlonde]

Because if I do re-rush what's the worst thing that could happen?

I would not get a bid.

If I don't do it, I'll always wonder what if knowing I had a strong desire to do it and regret it the rest of my life.

[KSUViolet06]

^^^The above things are very true. At least you don't have to wonder "what if."

[SassyBlonde]

Thank you! :]

[Splash]

Am I getting this right?

Assuming you get a bid, you will be a new member in semester x, initiate in semester x, and then when semester x ends, you graduate?