Rushing as a SENIOR in the Fall, informal recruitment. Advice?
 

Hey! :]

I plan on rushing in the fall as a senior--I know this is very late and puts odds against me for getting a bid, so any advice you can give me to better prepare me will be great! I did formal rush in the spring, and fell in love with a particular sorority and they cut me first day. After Day 3 I quit rush. This time I have no intention of quitting because this is my very last chance!

Don't have your heart set on one sorority. Keep an open mind. Be prepared for rejection, but don't let it stop you from trying.

Preparation: did you read the outstanding recruitment advice given by adpiucf? If you'll go to the Recruitment Forum section of GC, the first several threads under Sorority Recruitment will give you all the advice you need, and then some.

From what you wrote, your school had Formal Recruitment this past spring semester, so you're going through informal this coming fall, correct? If all chapters are not participating in informal, your chances of being offered a bid are even more significantly reduced. It's unfortunate for you that you dropped out of recruitment this past spring, honestly, because at that time you were a 2nd semester junior with only one year left to participate. That may well have been your best chance to become a member of any chapter. Setting your heart on one chapter is a certain recipe for disaster.

That's my opinion. Good luck to you.

At the line in bold: If you knew this, why did you drop out?

You dropped out of recruitment, as a junior, without giving any of the other sororities a chance. What makes you think they're going to give you one now?

My one piece of advice: If you choose to go through recruitment, whether informal or formal, DON'T go in expecting the chapter that you love to give you a bid. They dropped you on Day 1. It will probably be very difficult to go from that, to them giving you a bid one semester later, especially when you're now that much closer to graduation.

All of the sororities do participate in the informal recruitment in the fall. I did not know then what I have read recently on here about recruitment. It just felt very wrong at the time to continue through the process when I felt a strong sort of calling to one organization that dropped me first day and I felt like I would be settling somewhere I did not belong.

Very good. You wanted one chapter but they did not invite you back past the first round. There is nothing wrong with dropping out of recruitment under the circumstances you've added. You didn't see yourself anywhere else. That happens. You probably didn't consider that you did disappoint members of other chapters who continued to invite you back, even though you were a junior at the time.

Now we wonder: so what has changed? You're now willing to "settle somewhere"? Or are you hoping that the chapter that previously did not invite you back will now desire you? Surely there must be some different circumstances.

FWIW: this is not us being mean; this is honest reflection from the other side of the fence, tempered with a dollop of cynicism. PNMs come here constantly with similar stories. Typically the details include that the desirable chapter was the "top" chapter on campus.

Again, best of luck to you.

I was a senior when I rushed in the spring, I see I failed to mention that. There are 7 sororities, I was cut by 5 the first day. There were a few I like very well, but like I said there was one that I absolutely fell in love with due to their friendliness, philanthropy, and creativity for their rush environment and props. I am an elementary education major and their philanthropy deals with children so I naturally felt very drawn to that sorority. But anyway, Day 2 I was invited back by only two sororities and I was able to be invited back by up to 5, so that was quite a disappointment. I was heartbroken but wanted to be as fair as I could and I gave them both a shot. Day 3, I came back and only 1 had invited me back and out of the two I went to the previous day, it was the one I felt the very least connection to. I have friends in different sororities and they think my senior status hurt because in the spring they look for freshmen.

You ask a good question--what has changed? Well, ever since I quit rush I have always wondered did I do the right thing? I know my reasons at the time, and I still understand them--that I felt like I would be settling somewhere I did not belong. Here is what has changed: if I am lucky enough to get a bid at my last opportunity to do so, I feel that they must see a connection between us, and this is something I desire strongly. I have always wanted to be a part of a collegiate sorority and this is my last chance. I also now know more girls in the other sororities that I am more able to relate to than I could during rush. Talking only a couple minutes to talk to a handful of girls through rush makes it hard to figure out who you could truly bond with, and after meeting some of them outside of rush, I see more bonding possibilities. I also I know I will have regrets if I do not take this opportunity to rush. That said, I am a part of a very small non-collegiate sorority that I do enjoy, but it has yet to fulfil what I am looking for. I am looking a lot of girls to befriend. I want to help more girls after they have had a hard day, help them realize how special they are, and as an upperclassmen possibly help them with anything I might be able to, whether it be academics or emotional, as well as participate in community service together. The small non-collegiate sorority I am in has a lot of growing and work to do--I have faith it will happen, but I really want to be part of a collegiate one with a lot of girls!

I understand this is not you all being mean, and I appreciate you all's honesty and taking the time to respond. :]

I'm betting that the "group you felt least connected to" is also the one that is hurting for numbers and under direction to ask back as many women as they can (whether THEY feel a connection with them or not). Most probably, this is, once again, the only group that will offer you a bid, IF they even do.

Lots of groups will/did probably question why you waited so long to rush in the first place. Unless you have a GOOD reason - I changed my major and I have more time, I broke up with my controlling boyfriend, my group of friends dumped me, I won the lottery and can afford it now - or a GOOD friend in a chapter to speak up for you, or a record number of women dropped out of sororities between last spring and the coming fall, your chances are extremely slim.

In that case I do have a good reason. I was in a serious relationship with my boyfriend who was going into the navy and my time was consumed with academics and seeing him before he went off to boot camp and training. We eventually got engaged, but since then we broke up and remain friends. You are prorbably right about what you said about the organization I felt least connected to needing the most members.

Yes, but was he a controlling semi-abusive jerk who cut you off from everyone else? (I'm guessing not since you're still friends) Just "I was spending a lot of time with my boyfriend" doesn't cut it. That only leads people to believe that you will conduct your life in the same way if you acquire another boyfriend.

Unless you have a CLOSE friend or two in a sorority, I honestly think you would be best served by putting more effort into growing and strengthening the group you are already a part of. Even if you are an upperclassman rushing, there are going to be girls younger than you years-wise that will be older than you sorority-wise, and coming in as a new pledge and trying to mother everyone (at least that's the tone I get from your post) isn't going to go over very well. The girls I do know who pledged when they were older - well let's just say they were 180 degrees from that way of thinking. That's part of why it worked for them.

No, not that controlling. I just felt the need to spend as much time as I could with him before he was gone for 7 months. I would not do this again, military changes things.

How were the older girls you knew 180 degrees from my way of thinking? I also think that because I will be grad student or starting a new major would be beneficial by having an alum still there to any organization.

I don't think the discussion now about your boyfriend is something you want to talk about on this board. Because of the quoted above, I feel as if you will be going into rush with an open mind - one of the best ways to maximize your chances of getting a bid. If you get a bid, enjoy your time in the sorority, they all have something great to offer you. If you have good friends in the sorority, this can help you.

I don't know whether to speak about recs or not. I'll defer to someone else.

Edit: Are you plan on graduating on time? If not, mention that you will be around longer.

Most organizations do not allow alumnae to be advisers for a few years after they graduate. Your too close to the chapter members and may not be able to make decisions that effect them without being swayed by your friendships. Secondly, as an alum, most organizations generally do not allow alums to "party" with the collegians so going to grad school wouldn't give you extra time with the chapter unless you join a chapter that allows women to remain active members while in grad school (which are few and far between.)

There is abundant information available regarding the (cognitive) developmental differences between a 17-18 year old freshman and a 21-22 year old senior. Light years of difference in terms of interests, maturity, perspective. Huge differences. That's one thing for you to consider.

Again, good luck; go through recruitment with a completely open mind and prepare yourself for whatever outcome there is.

Question- you say above that you were a senior when you rushed in the spring. And you'll be a senior in the fall. Does that mean that you're graduating halfway through the year? Or that you'll be a 5th-year senior?