would dating a non-virgin bother you?

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by agzg

Prior to Live-in and before we moved in together, I was screened regularly. He was, too. Didn't matter the number at all. This reminds me that when I set up my next appointment I should get screened again just in case.

Most guys I've dated don't get screened, and don't see the need to until I make it clear that won't fly with me. I don't know why that is. For the record, I've never asked a dude what his number is...in that particular case he was very proud of himself and made sure to tell me.

I do it at least once a year. My policy is trust no one when it comes to my own safety.

Originally Posted by 33girl

I'm probably going to be sorry I'm even getting into this discussion, but...

Say you met a guy and found out he had a serious alcohol problem in his youth. He is now in AA, hasn't touched a drop in years, clean as a whistle. Would you consider that a "distraction" as well?

As far as guys who've had a lot of partners, two guys I knew in college who were both with a LOT of girls are now the most loving, devoted, happiest husbands and fathers you could ever meet. I think pretty much everyone envies their wives and would love to be in their position. The guys who were "nice guys" and had the same girlfriend all through college and didn't screw around a lot in general are the ones having the midlife crises and getting divorced and flirting on Facebook. It's kind of like getting a tan...it might look good now, but you pay for it when you hit 40.

This is an example of how different peoples' guidelines can be...for me the answer to question one would be yes, and it would be a dealbreaker. I'm betting for most people it wouldn't be, if he were clean and responsible for years. I'm far less likely to care who a guy has sex with (provided he doesn't have anything and is responsible about checking) than a past history of struggles with addiction, and I have my very concrete reasons for that. I've got a several friends that would flip it around and think I'm nuts to have the guidelines I do.

What works for one person doesn't work for everyone, that's for damn sure.