Is it all about looks?

[Splash]

Some chapters take appearance into consideration.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by Splash

Some chapters take appearance into consideration.

True, but I highly doubt that a chapter would drop a PNM who got along perfectly with everyone and represented all their values just because she had a big nose, or was too tall, or too chubby. Besides, it doesn't seem like the OP would want to be part of a chapter that put such an importance on looks.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by victoriana

True, but I highly doubt that a chapter would drop a PNM who got along perfectly with everyone and represented all their values just because she had a big nose, or was too tall, or too chubby. Besides, it doesn't seem like the OP would want to be part of a chapter that put such an importance on looks.

I think you're a sweetheart, but this is a big sugar coated pile of bull squeeze. Looks matter a lot to some chapters. If a pnm doesn't measure up to their standards, it isn't something she can change. Fortunately, there are chapters that put an emphasis on other things. But you shouldn't go around speaking on behalf of every group on every campus' selection process.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I think you're a sweetheart, but this is a big sugar coated pile of bull squeeze. Looks matter a lot to some chapters. If a pnm doesn't measure up to their standards, it isn't something she can change. Fortunately, there are chapters that put an emphasis on other things. But you shouldn't go around speaking on behalf of every group on every campus' selection process.

... pot. Kettle. Pot. Kettle.

Keeping a really offensive quote in your signature is far, far worse.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by Drolefille

... pot. Kettle. Pot. Kettle.

Keeping a really offensive quote in your signature is far, far worse.

*yawn*

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

*yawn*

Whatever, sock.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

I think you're a sweetheart, but this is a big sugar coated pile of bull squeeze. Looks matter a lot to some chapters. If a pnm doesn't measure up to their standards, it isn't something she can change. Fortunately, there are chapters that put an emphasis on other things. But you shouldn't go around speaking on behalf of every group on every campus' selection process.

That's true. I was just speaking from my experience and I should've noted that. I think that this discussion we're having is important. I feel like this is an issue many PNMs wonder about but are too afraid to ask. I know I was worried about it going into recruitment. Seeing all the threads about outfits, hairstyles, shoe choices, ect. can be overwhelming to a girl who already has self-image issues. Of course, I don't go to an SEC school but I can imagine what it would be like there. I think it's sad that some chapters put such a heavy emphasis on looks, but that's the nature of the Greek system at some schools I suppose.

[AGDee]

Originally Posted by victoriana

That's true. I was just speaking from my experience and I should've noted that. I think that this discussion we're having is important. I feel like this is an issue many PNMs wonder about but are too afraid to ask. I know I was worried about it going into recruitment. Seeing all the threads about outfits, hairstyles, shoe choices, ect. can be overwhelming to a girl who already has self-image issues. Of course, I don't go to an SEC school but I can imagine what it would be like there. I think it's sad that some chapters put such a heavy emphasis on looks, but that's the nature of the Greek system at some schools I suppose.

Your campus is one of the most laid back, relaxed, "be yourself" campuses in the nation, IMO. That's why it felt like home to me

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by AGDee

Your campus is one of the most laid back, relaxed, "be yourself" campuses in the nation, IMO. That's why it felt like home to me

Awwww. I feel like that should be on the school's website or something, haha.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by victoriana

I think it's sad that some chapters put such a heavy emphasis on looks, but that's the nature of the Greek system at some schools I suppose.

It's just a reflection of the larger social culture.

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by victoriana

True, but I highly doubt that a chapter would drop a PNM who got along perfectly with everyone and represented all their values just because she had a big nose, or was too tall, or too chubby. Besides, it doesn't seem like the OP would want to be part of a chapter that put such an importance on looks.

There are definitely chapters that do cut for not looking the part. It's part of the game, but your bolded comment is important. Squeezing a square peg in a round hole just makes for a miserable experience, IMO.

[Drolefille]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

There are definitely chapters that do cut for not looking the part. It's part of the game, but your bolded comment is important. Squeezing a square peg in a round hole just makes for a miserable experience, IMO.

I agree that this is the most important. Although I think many PNMs think they want to be a part of that chapter, even if they'd never really fit in there.

[NutBrnHair]

No, usually, it's about the whole package. A good personal presentation, plus a good record on paper -- grades, activities, community service, etc.

[ree-Xi]

I am taking recruitment out of the equation for a moment and speaking to the bigger issue (no pun intended):

If you are bigger than you want to be, even if you have health problems, and if you desire to work on your body, there is always something you can do to work your shape and your health.

- Add more movement to your daily routine.
- Add in 20 minutes of exercise, several days per week. Walking is a fine exercise, as long as you're challenging yourself with elevation, pace, etc.
- Drink more water
- Count calories. We often overestimate what we eat by up to a third! Just the simple act of counting makes you aware of what you are eating.
- Toning what you have can make you appear slimmer. Muscles are denser than fat.

If you so desire, you can lose 17-34 pounds SAFELY by the third week of August (not sure when recruitment is). That's 1-2 pounds per week.

I'm not saying you have to - you may be perfectly happy at your current weight - but it does seem to bother you.

If nothing else, you'll have given yourself a better state of health, perhaps built more confidence, and have accomplished a great goal.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I am taking recruitment out of the equation for a moment and speaking to the bigger issue (no pun intended):

If you are bigger than you want to be, even if you have health problems, and if you desire to work on your body, there is always something you can do to work your shape and your health.

- Add more movement to your daily routine.
- Add in 20 minutes of exercise, several days per week. Walking is a fine exercise, as long as you're challenging yourself with elevation, pace, etc.
- Drink more water
- Count calories. We often overestimate what we eat by up to a third! Just the simple act of counting makes you aware of what you are eating.
- Toning what you have can make you appear slimmer. Muscles are denser than fat.

If you so desire, you can lose 17-34 pounds SAFELY by the third week of August (not sure when recruitment is). That's 1-2 pounds per week.

I'm not saying you have to - you may be perfectly happy at your current weight - but it does seem to bother you.

If nothing else, you'll have given yourself a better state of health, perhaps built more confidence, and have accomplished a great goal.

I say this with a big glass of water sitting next to me, after having just journaled my lunch (meaning I'm not denying what you are saying is 100% da troof):
Don't give overweight people advice on how to lose weight. It does little more than waste your time and frustrate them. Overweight people mentally know how to lose weight (or can Google 77543345 websites on the subject, most of which will start with all of the info in your post) - the issue is being in the right place in your life to do it. You have to decide that it's the right time for you, and you have to WANT it bad enough for yourself-not for a friend, boyfriend, or sorority. Then is the only time it will happen.