Disaffiliating

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by stressedattim

Hi all,

I'm seeking some help regarding disaffiliation. I joined the frat in September of last year and went through the pledge process and am now a brother. The problem now is that I've realized Greek life isn't something that's for me. The frat made pledging so easy. All we had were weekly meetings. While easy, it didn't show me much about the frat. I was able to go through pledging without realizing it isn't what I wanted. you see, Greek Life is a pretty big thing at my school. A whole week is dedicated to rush, and frats hold some pretty epic events throughout the week. While I wasn't forced to pledge anywhere, I felt somewhat pressured since everyone else was doing it. I know that these were the wrong reasons to join a frat. My problem with the house is that I am not close to some of the brothers. And it isn't until now that I've realized this is a problem that probably won't be remedied. I want to disaffiliate, yet at the same time I want them to understand where I'm coming from and I want to keep the friendships I've made with the brothers I am close to. I know though, that this is pretty damnear impossible.

Anyone have any advice as to how I should go about doing this, or whether I should be doing this at all?
Thanks!
All advice is welcome and appreciated


(Oh btw. I don't want to post what frat I'm in at the moment. Unless it comes up, I'd rather not have to)

I think it's good that you're not revealing which fraternity you're in.

There have been several threads about disaffiliating. A lot of them will pretty much say the same thing -- you get out what you put in. You don't magically become friends/close with brothers just by virtue of you being brothers. You need to make an effort as well.

Have you hung out with your brothers outside of official events? Do you keep in contact with your big or pledge brothers? Have you taken on any roles within the fraternity? All of these things can help make you feel more welcome.

If you have tried the things above and still want to quit, we can't tell you how that will affect your friendships, as we're not familiar with the dynamics of your chapter. It's one of those things that you'll have to deal with whenever it happens.