I understand that i need to make an effort to become close to the brothers. And I can say that I am at fault for that. I didn't post this before, but not being close to the brothers is not the only reason I am considering disaffiliating. I've thought i long time about this and I've realized that a fraternity is just not something I want to be a part of. I have nothing against fraternities, it's just not for me. As much as I would like to have a group of people that I can confide in, that I can have fun with-- pretty much a brotherhood, I would rather not be in a fraternity. The one thing holding me back is that we recently had someone from my pledge class disaffiliate and is now expressing interest in another frat. I don't want to add insult to injury by disaffilliating myself. But it's gotten to the point where this is affecting my schoolwork and I don't want that to be the case.
(From the beginning, it's been a chore, almost an obligation to have to go over to the house. If I truly wanted to be in the frat, I feel that I would willingly and happily be able to go over without second thoughts. And if this is not the way I feel, I don't want to string the brothers along and have them think that this is something I want, when it really isn't)
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