Co-Ed Fraternity in need of some serious help!

PsiXiOmicron · #1 02-26-2011, 03:34 AM

hello everyone the last time i posted a thread on here i got lots of help. I am a member of a local co-ed fraternity and there is tons of drama going on between the other members. From this brother cheated on a sister with another sister to no one wanting to do community service and a big problem with on of our members leaking information to outsiders. I guess im begging for help because this 22 year old organization was left in me and another sisters hands and the other 4 active members are starting lots of problems. is there ANYTHING you can give me to stop all this. And oh yea there are 2 pledges thrown into the mix also.Please i need help.

Drolefille · #2 02-26-2011, 03:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsiXiOmicron

hello everyone the last time i posted a thread on here i got lots of help. I am a member of a local co-ed fraternity and there is tons of drama going on between the other members. From this brother cheated on a sister with another sister to no one wanting to do community service and a big problem with on of our members leaking information to outsiders. I guess im begging for help because this 22 year old organization was left in me and another sisters hands and the other 4 active members are starting lots of problems. is there ANYTHING you can give me to stop all this. And oh yea there are 2 pledges thrown into the mix also.Please i need help.

qfp

PsiXiOmicron · #3 02-26-2011, 04:50 AM

i dont understand your reply

AOII Angel · #4 02-26-2011, 09:45 AM

Wow...6 members and you have one sleeping with two of the others. You have problems. Sounds like your fraternity has turned into a nightmare hook up club. Good luck, but it sounds like your members have no interest in making your 22 year organization work.

Psi U MC Vito · #5 02-26-2011, 02:06 PM

A 22 year old organization and all these issues? If I was you I would quickly start waving the red flag to your Alumi. They might be able to help more then we can. And to be blunt, they would hopefully care more then a bunch of strangers on the interwebs like us.

MysticCat · #6 02-26-2011, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsiXiOmicron

i dont understand your reply

Quoted for posterity, in case what you originally wrote should . . . disappear.

Drolefille · #7 02-26-2011, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Quoted for posterity, in case what you originally wrote should . . . disappear.

But, but, they said they'd posted here before. Funny that.

Psi U MC Vito · #8 02-26-2011, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drolefille

But, but, they said they'd posted here before. Funny that.

So they did. And went coed after we told them that it might be a BAD idea if not done right. Hmm.

MysticCat · #9 02-26-2011, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

So they did. And went coed after we told them that it might be a BAD idea if not done right. Hmm.

Ahhh, yes.

33girl · #10 02-26-2011, 03:34 PM

So in other words, you went co-ed and the only people who joined were people who wanted to get into the current sisters' pants, and that's the only reason they joined?

Unless your alumni/ae (who previously haven't done jack squat) can use some sort of pull to de-coedify you and help you get more members that don't suck, it sounds like your group is pretty much toast.

dnall · #11 02-27-2011, 08:12 PM

...and trying to reel this back to constructive...

I don't know much about co-ed fraternities, but organizations I can talk about.

You got six members, which means you don't have an organization at all.

I assume you have some kind of purpose, probably community service based on some principles or other. Clearly the people involved now have lost their commitment and the group in turn has lost their bearings.

Talk to whomever individually about the way forward. Have yourself a come to Jesus meeting. This is what we're about, we're going to get back to that, there's no halfway. Are you in or out. Sign this personal contract committing to XYZ (rules & requirements with consequences, but also flowery soul inspiring stuff).

You'll then have 2-4 people rather than 6, but at least they'll actually want to be there. At that point you forget that it's a 22yo org & start over recruiting like it's brand new. You should have 20 people by the end of the semester and have completed a couple projects - use your projects as recruiting, be creative & network.

That'd be my advice anyway. Good luck to you!

DrPhil · #12 02-27-2011, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnall

...and trying to reel this back to constructive...

MysticCat · #13 02-27-2011, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnall

You'll then have 2-4 people rather than 6, but at least they'll actually want to be there. At that point you forget that it's a 22yo org & start over recruiting like it's brand new. You should have 20 people by the end of the semester and have completed a couple projects - use your projects as recruiting, be creative & network.

Serious question: Why do you assume the bolded? It seems rather unrealistic to me, especially given what the OP has said in this thread and elsewhere -- and the background from elsewhere is why some of the comments made in this thread were made.

dnall · #14 02-28-2011, 12:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat

Serious question: Why do you assume the bolded? It seems rather unrealistic to me, especially given what the OP has said in this thread and elsewhere -- and the background from elsewhere is why some of the comments made in this thread were made.

A few reasons.

First, I'm not going to chase down the 'elsewhere.' I don't care that much.

Second, I'd rather ignore it and drive on with the question at hand. Maybe they made mistakes in the past. That doesn't negate their right to legitimate answers now.

And third... I take it from the other posts this person was interested in traditional rush and ended up opting for this co-ed thing. I don't know this person. I don't know what actually happened in the real world. Maybe they did try and got cut, maybe it just wasn't for them. Maybe a hundred other things. I don't know, and honestly it doesn't matter. Telling them 'I told you so' doesn't help anyone.

I don't really care what their problems are. I'm quite sure I've seen worse resuscitated - I'm in that process with my Dad's chapter now. The fact remains, any type of group under 20 folks and not otherwise functioning at a high level is in failure mode. Fixing tactical problems at that point is like straightening pictures on the titanic. The only choice is the advice I gave.

Are they going to get on track and to 20 folks by the end of the semester? I don't know. They need a goal, and that's a survival standard. If they don't then they're either done or buying time till they are. This is a doable goal and someone acting like they're passionate about it. I'm not going to tell them to give up and walk away. I just can't be a cynic like that.

MysticCat · #15 02-28-2011, 01:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dnall

A few reasons.

First, I'm not going to chase down the 'elsewhere.' I don't care that much.

Second, I'd rather ignore it and drive on with the question at hand. Maybe they made mistakes in the past. That doesn't negate their right to legitimate answers now.

No, but it does provide context for their question and additional data for an informed answer.

Quote:

And third... I take it from the other posts this person was interested in traditional rush and ended up opting for this co-ed thing. I don't know this person. I don't know what actually happened in the real world. Maybe they did try and got cut, maybe it just wasn't for them. Maybe a hundred other things. I don't know, and honestly it doesn't matter. Telling them 'I told you so' doesn't help anyone.

Nope. That's not what happened. This person was part of the decision to turn a sorority into a co-ed fraternity. If you click on the link I provided above, you see this:

Quote:

Originally Posted by PsiXiOmicron

hi my name is Maghen and I am an alpha epsilon of Psi Xi Omicron a local sorority at Daemen College in Buffalo New York. I have a lot of questions but no where to turn for answers so I am hoping i can get some help here. My sorority is about 20 years old but we are very close to extinction. Last night me and my sisters were talking about a lot of different ways to help this sorority. I just recently found of that our sorority dos not have any help from alumni. How do we get alumni more involved. Another question is since we are so close to extinction how could we recruit that will bring people in. Another topic that came up is last night was how can we turn our all girl sorority into a co-ed frat.Do you think anyone would be interested in pledging. We just need some guidance can someone help.

The "I told you sos," to the extent there were any, were people responding to this post by warning that going co-ed wasn't likely to be a fix-it-all and might make matters worse.

I'm all for giving the best advice possible, and I can understand not wanting to be cynical. But I'm just not sure under all these circumstances that saying they should have around 20 people by the end of the semester is realistic. If I were them, I'd give myself longer to get there.