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Old 12-24-2010, 06:19 AM
Alumiyum Alumiyum is offline
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Most members feel like they are not connected with their chapter/pledge class at some point during their time as actives. That's not abnormal and it shouldn't be a deal-breaker.

Take into consideration that you are not supposed to be BFF with everyone in the chapter. Your big's response might not be what you were looking for, but it's key. If you are uncomfortable around alcohol, find others that don't drink. In the meantime, make every effort to be outgoing and get to know other members. Those girls in your pledge class aren't drinking 24/7 right? Find activities to share that don't include alcohol. Invite a couple of them to your dorm room to study for a class you have together, go see a movie, go shopping. Find ways to interact outside of parties. And keep in mind that for many people, freshman year is their wildest. The parties and the drinking are new and novel, but as everyone gets older and starts taking more difficult classes, they'll start to calm down. (And I can tell you that from personal experience.)

Also take into consideration that it's not just about having fun. That's important when you're a collegian, but your years as an active are 4 out of your entire lifetime of membership. I personally only had a couple of close friends during my years as an active in my own chapter. Most of my best friends were in other sororities, and most of the people in my pledge class that I felt the closest to didn't stay. I did not feel connected to the majority of the girls in the chapter after my first semester...and I'm still 100% satisfied with my collegiate experience.

Try to find ways to help yourself, but you can always go back to your big and explain how serious the situation is to you and ask her to point you towards some people that you might have more in common with. There is an entire chapter of girls outside of your pledge class.

ETA: Don't let this rob you of a good experience. I promise that many of these girls will learn that you don't have to drink to have a good time, and sooner than you think. Let your big and (if you feel comfortable doing so) your new member coordinator know you're considering dropping so that they understand that it's a serious situation. But try to see past this first semester. Unless the chapter as a whole is generally far too interested in alcohol, you'll be fine.
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Last edited by Alumiyum; 12-24-2010 at 06:27 AM.
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