Etiquette dilemma - Page 2

DrPhil · #16 12-02-2010, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

Right, but as everyone's family is different your experience is not universal.

How could you tell?

Is it when I said "I disagree and that goes to show that there are different ways to view the proposal and wedding thing" or "I know I'd handle this if it were my family and friends...and IrishLake will figure out how to handle it for hers."

You're swift like Taylor!

AOII Angel · #17 12-02-2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

How could you tell?

Is it when I said "I disagree and that goes to show that there are different ways to view the proposal and wedding thing" or "I know I'd handle this if it were my family and friends...and IrishLake will figure out how to handle it for hers."

You're swift like Taylor!

LOL. But by looking at Taylor Swift, she gives me the impression that she's not very swift.

Munchkin03 · #18 12-02-2010, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

It doesn't have to be admiration to create a stir. Both the bride and future fiancee will be short changed if he does this right before the wedding, and the simple solution is to move the moment of proposal by a few hours.

A lesbian wedding?

IrishLake · #19 12-02-2010, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

And can you really steal the attention from a unicorn?!

I <3 this sentance.

BiL and I are close. Hubby told me last night I should probably say something. Cousin would probably be a little upset. (BiL and Hubby butt heads on a lot of stuff, but BiL likes me more than he likes his brother).

Munchkin03 · #20 12-02-2010, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

LOL. She took my boo Jake Gyllenhaal. Either she's kinda swift or he's kinda slow.

On my way into the office this morning, I saw a picture of her kissing up on him. Ruined my day.

I've had a crush on him since "City Slickers." Was she even born then?

DrPhil · #21 12-02-2010, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishLake

I <3 this sentance.

BiL and I are close. Hubby told me last night I should probably say something. Cousin would probably be a little upset. (BiL and Hubby butt heads on a lot of stuff, but BiL likes me more than he likes his brother).

You automatically win because you know what needs to be said and how to say it. You won't try to make him feel like an inconsiderate fool for ever thinking it was a good idea. LOL.

If he still does it, will that change your opinion of him? That probably won't happen but perhaps that's possible.

Alumiyum · #22 12-02-2010, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

How could you tell?

Is it when I said "I disagree and that goes to show that there are different ways to view the proposal and wedding thing" or "I know I'd handle this if it were my family and friends...and IrishLake will figure out how to handle it for hers."

You're swift like Taylor!

. I wonder if putting people down ever gets old.

DrPhil · #23 12-02-2010, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

On my way into the office this morning, I saw a picture of her kissing up on him. Ruined my day.

I've had a crush on him since "City Slickers." Was she even born then?

I forget how old she is now. They are on the cover of some magazine looking like high schoolers. I could be "mad" but then I remember the Stevie Nicks performance which puts Taylor back in a "child's" place. LOL.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

. I wonder if putting people down ever gets old.

This isn't one of THOSE threads. Laugh a little about unicorns and stealing a cousin's wedding shine or stop typing to me.

IrishLake · #24 12-02-2010, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

If he still does it, will that change your opinion of him? That probably won't happen but perhaps that's possible.

Nope, not at all. I did my duty as a loving SiL, and if he goes through with it, it's his issue to deal with the aftermath (if any), not mine. But at least his decision will be more informed.

Alumiyum · #25 12-02-2010, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I forget how old she is now. They are on the cover of some magazine looking like high schoolers. I could be "mad" but then I remember the Stevie Nicks performance which puts Taylor back in a "child's" place. LOL.

This isn't one of THOSE threads. Laugh a little about unicorns and stealing a cousin's wedding shine or stop typing to me.

Then play nice....or stop typing to me.

Munchkin03 · #26 12-02-2010, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

I forget how old she is now. They are on the cover of some magazine looking like high schoolers. I could be "mad" but then I remember the Stevie Nicks performance which puts Taylor back in a "child's" place. LOL.

She'll be 21 in a few days.

Alumiyum · #27 12-02-2010, 11:04 AM

30 and 21 seems like a big gap.

Alumiyum · #28 12-02-2010, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

Thanks for adding the smiley. They apparently make a world of difference on GC. They turn snarkycondescending into "jes kiddin with ya!" I need to use them more to appease the masses. Problem solved.

<---- added just in case

9 years is a big gap when dealing with someone who is relatively recently "legal." It isn't a generation gap but it is interesting to find how well a 30 and 21 yo relate to one another.

It isn't a big gap for the 30+ crowd.

It wasn't supposed to make it a "just kidding". I wasn't.

I know once you hit a certain age a few years age gap doesn't matter so much, but man 21 and 30 don't seem compatible. Maybe she's an old soul, which I can see. I just find myself doubting this will last very long.

So those of you that are in love with him really shouldn't be put off. There's no way this will be long term. I'm calling it now.

allionna · #29 12-02-2010, 11:17 AM

I would say that whether or not your BiL proposing the night before the wedding will be an issue really is dependant on the family. As a relatively new bride, I wouldn’t have taken offense if someone got engaged the night before my wedding, as long as the proposal wasn’t during my reception. I guess it depends on how he goes about proposing. If he makes the proposal a big public thing, such as proposing during the rehearsal dinner or something where the entire family is around, then it would probably be an issue. However, if he proposes in a way that kind of keeps it quiet, such as during a private moment between just the two of them, then I don’t see a problem with it. The couple just needs to be responsible and realize that while they just got engaged, the day should not be about them. They can celebrate their engagement all they want later.

The argument being made about her ring being a distraction, since it is 3.5 carat, and everyone learning that she is engaged at the wedding if she wears it the next day could be a valid point. However, what would be the difference between him proposing this coming weekend and her wearing the ring to the wedding in two weeks versus him proposing the night before the wedding and her wearing the ring? Depending on how close the extended family is, since it is the cousin’s wedding and not immediate family, even if the couple got engaged earlier, such as this weekend, most of the family probably would not have found out about the engagement until the wedding anyway. At least this would be the case in my extended family where I only see 90% of them once a year and / or at weddings and funerals.

Munchkin03 · #30 12-02-2010, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil

9 years is a big gap when dealing with someone who is relatively recently "legal." It isn't a generation gap but it is interesting to find how well a 30 and 21 yo relate to one another.

It isn't a big gap for the 30+ crowd.

Yeah, 9 is a big deal when you can't go to the club with your lady.

Two of my friends just got married and there's a 9-year age difference; she's 25 and he's 34. She's also pretty mature and he's a big kid, so they even each other out pretty well.