Apology

[Senusret I]

I know an Alpha named Asa!

[KSUViolet06]

You guys must not have gotten the memo:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...5&postcount=37

[APhiAnna]

PLEASE don't tell any of the chapter members this story when you rush. If a girl named Ivy came through and said her mom always lovedAlpha Phi and wanted to join, and that she wanted to join Alpha Phi because of her mom and only went to school with Alpha Phi chapters...well all I can say is that it would be a legendary story in my chapter and there is no way "Ivy" would be at our house on bid day. It is a well meaning story, but it is just way too forward to be shared at recruitment.

The other thing I have to say is this: you may be putting way too much pressure on yourself to appease one chapter during recruitment. Think about it from this perspective...if you idealize a person too much (a boy, a celebrity, a professor, etc) when it comes time to meet them you are likely to stutter, say stupid things, shut down or maybe even get that "crazy cat lady" look in your eyes. It doesn't matter that you can get along with any other person, because you haven't idealized those people and they are therefore approachable.

I worry that you have idealized KD to the extent that you will be far too nervous to make a good impression...the anxiety shows, and it doesn't go over well. Remember that the KDs are just people...if you pardon my vulgarity, they fart just like the rest of us. If you view them as deities it will NOT go over well, and will only make you look "beneath" them.

[DaffyKD]

Originally Posted by annabella

...the "ee" at the end of a name is on the same end of the white trash spectrum as "i" as far as I'm concerned.

I use an "i" at the end of my name. Have been using it for 40+ years and there is no way I can be classified white trash.

DaffyKD

[DaffyKD]

Originally Posted by Blondie93

I did not see your other thread, so I apologize if this has already been said. Actually, I only apologize to other GCers. The OP needs to hear this over and over and over again.

First, agree with everyone who says to Stop Posting Now. You have no idea how presumptious, creepy, elitest, obnoxious and stalkerish that your posts (and mom's story) are coming across.

That being said, it sounds like that while you are (vaguely) familiar with Kappa Delta, you clearly are not familiar with recruitment, greek systems, etc.

Things to consider:
-- you may get to campus, go through recruitment, and find that you love, love, love the women that are in a different sorority than Kappa Delta. It happens. Frequently. Different chapters of different organizations on different campuses all have different personalities.

-- you may get to campus, go through recruitment, and find that you do not like the women that are in the Kappa Delta chapter at your school. Again, not all Kappa Deltas are cookie cutters of each other. They can be vastly different at different schools.

-- you may get to campus, go through recruitment, and- gasp- the women of Kappa Delta may not feel a connection to you and you may get cut. This also happens. Frequently. Just because you want to be a part of a certain group does NOT mean that it is going to happen. The women in the chapter have to want you too. Sororities must make big cuts during the recruitment process to whiddle the PNM pool down to a pledge class size group of women.

-- your mom has put an insane amount of pressure on you, whether you realize it or not. You speak of the joy of being able to tell her that you are part of a group that she wanted to be in. What if you decide that you like another group better? Or, what if you do get released by KD? How will that phone call go? What will her reaction be? Would you be afraid to tell your mom these things? This is a convo that you need to have with your mom before recruitment even starts, as chances are high that one of these scenarios could play out.

-- if you do get cut by KD, will you continue with recruitment? Is your mindset an all-or-nothing one?

We see it happen all the time that PNMs get their hearts set on one chapter, and when that chapter cuts them the PNM drops out of recruitment. Later they realize the errors in their judgment, but it is too late for them. You really, really, really need to think through all of these scenarios because you could find yourself in those situations.

To be very blunt, you have set yourself up for immense disapointment. Your focus on setting your sights on just one group are wrong, wrong, wrong. Recruitment is a pressure filled situation. Why put a gazillion times more pressure on yourself by just focusing on one group? Relax, get into a college, sign up for recruitment, and just enjoy the process of meeting (ALL) sorority women and other PNMs. What comes will come. Allow yourself the freedom to enjoy any of the chapters on your campus. Allow yourself the freedom to choose the chapter that you love, not the one that your mom does. Allow yourself the opportunity to chart your own course. These things can bring you even more happiness.

(Why do I feel like her mom's name should be Brandi Rae?)

I want to add one more thing to these wise words:

Your mother went to college at a different time, there were different women in KD at that time. When a young lady goes through recruitment she is basing her decision on the women she meets NOW. Not one woman who was active in the house when your mother went through school would still be active today. You are not your mother, you MUST make your own decision. This is the same advise I gave my own daughter when she went away to school and there was a KD chapter on her campus. I told her that if she went through recruitment (and she did not), she had to look at the houses based on who was active now, not based on my long time KD friends or who was active when I was a teenager going through rush. As long as you are happy in the house you choose, that is all that is important.

DaffyKD

[Katmandu]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

PLEASE don't tell any of the chapter members this story when you rush. If a girl named Ivy came through and said her mom always lovedAlpha Phi and wanted to join, and that she wanted to join Alpha Phi because of her mom and only went to school with Alpha Phi chapters...well all I can say is that it would be a legendary story in my chapter and there is no way "Ivy" would be at our house on bid day. It is a well meaning story, but it is just way too forward to be shared at recruitment.

The other thing I have to say is this: you may be putting way too much pressure on yourself to appease one chapter during recruitment. Think about it from this perspective...if you idealize a person too much (a boy, a celebrity, a professor, etc) when it comes time to meet them you are likely to stutter, say stupid things, shut down or maybe even get that "crazy cat lady" look in your eyes. It doesn't matter that you can get along with any other person, because you haven't idealized those people and they are therefore approachable.

I worry that you have idealized KD to the extent that you will be far too nervous to make a good impression...the anxiety shows, and it doesn't go over well. Remember that the KDs are just people...if you pardon my vulgarity, they fart just like the rest of us. If you view them as deities it will NOT go over well, and will only make you look "beneath" them.

Wow, I always wanted the KD forum to pick up a little, but not sure this is what I had in mind.....

AphiAnna, this is a wonderful post, and I echo everything you said. I completely understand how a high school girl with little experience of greek life might not understand how this comes across to others.

But now, Kaydeebug, you need to take the advice you have been given--while some of it may be painful to hear, it is all helpful and realistic. This story will NOT help you, and your mother's attitude (on this particular issue) is not healthy.

Go to school, meet people, go through recruitment with an open mind, and DO NOT share this story. No need to apologize, just accept (even if you don't yet understand) that this situation/story will not help you in any way. With anything.

As a mom myself, I am wishing you a great college experience. Have fun and create and live your own dreams!

[angels&angles]

Originally Posted by APhiAnna

Remember that the KDs are just people...if you pardon my vulgarity, they fart just like the rest of us.

Stop spreading lies. Girls don't fart. And sorority girls DEFINITELY don't fart. Why do you think sorority houses smell so much better than fraternity houses? Please.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by angels&angles

Stop spreading lies. Girls don't fart. And sorority girls DEFINITELY don't fart. Why do you think sorority houses smell so much better than fraternity houses? Please.

Are you insinuating that fraternity men fart?

Crazy talk, I tell you.

[dreamseeker]

LOL

[KDLadyBSU]

I'm disappointed in my sisters... Yes this young girl was kinda creepy in her story and a bit overzealous in her attempt to be a KD. But shouldn't we be happy that someone is that interested in our sorority even if her intentions were off base? I read through the thread and not once did I see a sister stand up and say hey thats ok thanks for apologizing now may I give you a bit of advice... instead I saw slam after slam and more than once the comment "well you're not getting in now..." or they're going to "blacklist" you. These are NOT the values I have been taught to uphold. Maybe we should take a step back and reflect. Maybe we should give this young one positive feedback and nurture her to make the best choices for her, give her the positive influence to make a wise greek choice that her mother is obviously not giving her. I have always encouraged young girls that I met that have said "I love what you stand for I want to be a KD too or I want to be in your sorority" that they need to be open when going through the recruitment process and if they look for whats right for them then they will be happiest... I think this is what this girl needed, not our criticism. Sorry to come down on all who posted, I'm just disappointed to see sisters acting this way.

[Always AlphaGam]

Originally Posted by KDLadyBSU

I'm disappointed in my sisters... Yes this young girl was kinda creepy in her story and a bit overzealous in her attempt to be a KD. But shouldn't we be happy that someone is that interested in our sorority even if her intentions were off base? I read through the thread and not once did I see a sister stand up and say hey thats ok thanks for apologizing now may I give you a bit of advice... instead I saw slam after slam and more than once the comment "well you're not getting in now..." or they're going to "blacklist" you. These are NOT the values I have been taught to uphold. Maybe we should take a step back and reflect. Maybe we should give this young one positive feedback and nurture her to make the best choices for her, give her the positive influence to make a wise greek choice that her mother is obviously not giving her. I have always encouraged young girls that I met that have said "I love what you stand for I want to be a KD too or I want to be in your sorority" that they need to be open when going through the recruitment process and if they look for whats right for them then they will be happiest... I think this is what this girl needed, not our criticism. Sorry to come down on all who posted, I'm just disappointed to see sisters acting this way.

Though this was posted in the KD forum, it doesn't take a genius to know that the majority of the people responding to the OP are NOT Kappa Deltas.

[KSUViolet06]

For crying out loud, this thread is from FEBRUARY.

[DeltaBetaBaby]

I think Adelphia would be a pretty name.

[kddani]

Originally Posted by KDLadyBSU

I'm disappointed in my sisters... Yes this young girl was kinda creepy in her story and a bit overzealous in her attempt to be a KD. But shouldn't we be happy that someone is that interested in our sorority even if her intentions were off base? I read through the thread and not once did I see a sister stand up and say hey thats ok thanks for apologizing now may I give you a bit of advice... instead I saw slam after slam and more than once the comment "well you're not getting in now..." or they're going to "blacklist" you. These are NOT the values I have been taught to uphold. Maybe we should take a step back and reflect. Maybe we should give this young one positive feedback and nurture her to make the best choices for her, give her the positive influence to make a wise greek choice that her mother is obviously not giving her. I have always encouraged young girls that I met that have said "I love what you stand for I want to be a KD too or I want to be in your sorority" that they need to be open when going through the recruitment process and if they look for whats right for them then they will be happiest... I think this is what this girl needed, not our criticism. Sorry to come down on all who posted, I'm just disappointed to see sisters acting this way.

This thread is eight months old. The majority of the posters were not KDs.

How can you, through one side of your mouth, say how that the OP deserved to have been treated better, but then through the other side of your mouth criticize KD sisters?

This is something I don't understand. I am disappointed to see someone calling out sisters, but without having any background on the thread or understanding of the issues.

I never understand these types of post where people are treating their own sisters poorly but then say that a total stranger should have been treated better. This isn't exclusive to KD, I've seen this happen in many other threads.

[Mevara]

Originally Posted by thetygerlily

I've thought the same, actually! I just realized a few months ago that my dog's name, Kaio, sounds like Chi-O... and it only took me 4 years to figure that out. But it's a (Brazilian) boy's name, so it wouldn't fly so well for a girl

I suppose it'd be easier to take a symbol or jewel for some groups. Rose, Pearl, or Ruby? I don't think any Kappa names would fly though- key, iris, fleur de lis, sapphire, owl... nope, those wouldn't work out so well. OR we could just not use GLOs for name inspiration. That's always an option too.

ETA: This is a total hijack, but my brother has a baby girl named Elise. He picked her name and they joke that they named her after a car (Lotus). Technically that's not true but it kind of is...

total hijack of an old thread... but I did see a composite of a Kappa chapter that had a girl named Kappa as a member.