Quitting school after an unsuccessful SEC recruitment

[BadCat25]

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

I disagree 100% with your defense. There is no defense.

ETA: Moreover, Greekdom does not need men and women who are so mentally and emotionally fragile that they would transfer because of an unsuccessful rush.

[Barbie's_Rush]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

Until you go home and encounter the very same girls who are all from your hometown and in your social circle. And they all know you were ridiculous enough to put membership in the right sorority ahead of your education. Everyone will know why you took that long walk of shame to the other state school.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Barbie's_Rush

Until you go home and encounter the very same girls who are all from your hometown and in your social circle. And they all know you were ridiculous enough to put membership in the right sorority ahead of your education. Everyone will know why you took that long walk of shame to the other state school.

I can see in some circles that not getting in to the sorority, or any sorority is less shameful than transferring to try and get in to a different chapter of the sorority. Add in transferring back and not being accepted to affiliate and oh wow, exponential social pariah.

Of course in my circle joining a sorority period was kind of out there behavior, and some people would have been happy if I transferred home after having an unsuccessful rush and been all sorority hateful in their freaky supportive way. Applying and attending an SEC school would have been grounds for a mental health evaluation, as would attending most schools. There were schools we attended, and I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

There were schools we attended, and I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

You're killing me tonight.

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I can see in some circles that not getting in to the sorority, or any sorority is less shameful than transferring to try and get in to a different chapter of the sorority. Add in transferring back and not being accepted to affiliate and oh wow, exponential social pariah.

Of course in my circle joining a sorority period was kind of out there behavior, and some people would have been happy if I transferred home after having an unsuccessful rush and been all sorority hateful in their freaky supportive way. Applying and attending an SEC school would have been grounds for a mental health evaluation, as would attending most schools. There were schools we attended, and I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

Will you please stop reminding people about Palin?!? Please??

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito

Will you please stop reminding people about Palin?!? Please??

Hokay...how about Kristin Armstrong the Olympic Gold Medalist for cycling in 2008 who used to be a triathlete and got into cycling because of osteoarthritis? or General James Amos who is preparing to be confirmed as the Commandant of the USMC?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

I definitely have gone a far different path by choosing a small state school where we cloned three mules and produced Sarah Palin & Deep Throat.

I don't ever want to see "Sarah Palin" and "Deep Throat" in the same sentence again.

But anyway...

I could understand someone transferring out of DePauw (2500 students and something like 75% Greek) if you didn't get a bid more than I can understand leaving someplace like Alabama (30,000 students and only 20% Greek). To basically say that the only reason to go there is to go Greek there and if you don't get in, the school has nothing...why waste your money going to that school in the first place?

Hopefully some of these women who transfer go to smaller state schools or private schools and manage to find a Greek experience there - which is probably the Greek experience that was more suited to them to begin with. And hopefully it opens their eyes to a different way of life after college as well.

Low C Sharp, I have a lovely image of your mom driving away from BigStateU and flipping it off with both hands. LOL

[starang21]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I don't ever want to see "Sarah Palin" and "Deep Throat" in the same sentence again.

i do.

don't judge me.

LOL.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

If someone feels the need to change their whole life and transfer schools because they didn't get a bid they need to pledge the on campus counseling center, for real real, not for play play. Holy self esteem and confidence issues Batman. With your reasoning anyone with a failed relationship should transfer as well so they don't have to see their former partner in class, the dorm, on campus, at football games, or in the school newspaper, especially with their new honey. I'd be a hell of a lot more supportive of someone who had been in a very unhealthy relationship transferring than someone who didn't get a bid.

You're really only giving yourself the finger here, and I'm pretty sure the women who didn't choose a girl for membership weren't doing it with fingering in mind. Sometimes people have an unsuccessful rush and there's no fingering involved.

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

You honestly think that people can't separate themselves from Greek life at large universities? If you're on a campus of 20/30/40,000 people and you continually run into "the people that rejected you," then you're probably trying to run into them.

[carnation]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

Since the advent of RFM, I have seen many girls do this and it worked for them. Most of them left really big schools like UGa and had majors that easily transferred. None of them had particular ties to the big school and as they saw it, there was hardly any difference between, say, an EED major at UGa and one of the smaller state universities. Either way they would end up a teacher. In the last 10 years, I've hardly known any women who then went back to the big school and tried to affiliate; they were happy where they transferred to. Most of them had great rushes at the smaller schools despite what happened at the first school.

Furthermore, no one's hometown friends made fun of them for transferring and believe me, once "real" life starts, no one is going to say, "There's Sarah. Would you believe she transferred so she could be Greek?" Usually people forget that they were even at the first school....you know, life is so demanding that the last thing anyone cares about is if and why someone left their school.

A few of these girls have already become valued regional officers for their sororities!

[DrPhil]

Originally Posted by carnation

Since the advent of RFM, I have seen many girls do this and it worked for them. Most of them left really big schools like UGa and had majors that easily transferred. None of them had particular ties to the big school and as they saw it, there was hardly any difference between, say, an EED major at UGa and one of the smaller state universities. Either way they would end up a teacher. In the last 10 years, I've hardly known any women who then went back to the big school and tried to affiliate; they were happy where they transferred to. Most of them had great rushes at the smaller schools despite what happened at the first school.

Furthermore, no one's hometown friends made fun of them for transferring and believe me, once "real" life starts, no one is going to say, "There's Sarah. Would you believe she transferred so she could be Greek?" Usually people forget that they were even at the first school....you know, life is so demanding that the last thing anyone cares about is if and why someone left their school.

A few of these girls have already become valued regional officers for their sororities!

"Sarah's" friends and associates may forget that she transferred but "Sarah" will always remember how much of a "loser" she is regardless of how well she's adjusted to "loserville." And if ever asked (since social networks are strong regardless of how bad people's memories are) "Sarah" will most likely not divulge that she transferred because she had an unsuccessful rush at her first school.

**********************************
I know NPHCers who transferred because they were "rejected" and did not want to risk another "rejection" (and they didn't want to go alumni/alumnae/graduate chapter). Unless the aspirant was a complete psycho, the members didn't care enough to get them "blackballed" at their new college or university. After they crossed, some of them come back to their first school for events and others never come back to visit. NONE of them would be honest and tell people why they transferred. They'll say things like "I had a difficult time adjusting at this college" or "they didn't have my major." Sure.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by BadCat25

It is so easy for us who did not have a failed rush to criticize the actions of those who did so I guess it is up to me to defend girls who transfer after having one. We do go to college for the education but a failed rush is public in your face social rejection and can be a devastating experience for an 18 year old girl. A transfer from one big state university to another does not sacrifice your education because they are all about the same so that argument doesn’t hold. What do you accomplish by a transfer? You might have a successful rush at your new school but rushing as a sophomore is always tough no matter what college you go to. At a minimum you will never again have to deal on a day to day basis with the people who rejected you. Never again have to sit next to them in class. Never again walk by them on campus. Never again walk by their chapter houses. Never again read about them in the school newspaper. You can in some sense give the finger to those who gave you the finger. For some girls it can be the right decision.

Apparently, these girls have always received what they wanted. Never auditioned for a play, tried out for a team, or entered any type of competition, only to not get a role/become cheer captain/or win the spelling bee? I forgot, this is the generation of "everyone's a winner!!"

What happens when/if they want to be an officer in said sorority, and they are rejected? Get the vapors and fall onto the nearing fainting couch? What about when they're out in the work force and interview for another job within the company and don't get it? Quit or transfer to another branch?

According to your theory, running away is the best option because at they will never have to face those mean girls who didn't want them, ever again!

What do they accomplish by transferring only because rush didn't go their way? A reputation for being a spoiled brat who runs away when she isn't getting exactly what she wants or thinks she deserves. Assuming that theoretical Tammy receives a bid to ABC, I hope that she never plans to socialize outside her chapter, before or after she graduates. No regional or national conferences or conventions, no alumnae chapter where the "mean girls" might be there.

Not receiving a bid is NOT the equivalent of being given the factor. There was a chance that the particular girl was the VERY NEXT ONE on the bid list, but too many other girls picked ABC as #1 too.

Nor is her accepting a bid from ABC at State U #2 the equivalent of her giving them the finger, because at this point, do you really think they care? They probably realize what an ungrateful, ungracious snot she is and are glad that she didn't match with them.